I’m definitely a sensitive man. Like most sensitive men, I definitely find it challenging in the “yeah, you gotta eat 50 lb of bacon, pump iron 7x a day, never smile, and always take on a challenge” world of masculinity. I mean, we’ve definitely come a long way over the last decade making emotions something men can accept, but we got a long way to go.
Most articles I read about sensitive men are mostly about hiding it, how we’re not supposed, to, and then when we do we’ll feel better, blah blah blah. But I’m already expressive. I find it challenging, from both men and women.
From men, I don’t feel like a man (I don’t mean in the sexual sense…just from a psychological sense). In men’s groups I get so tired of talking about work and (maybe) hobbies I just wanna run out of the room screaming. It’s hard to find any other men who are okay talking about their feelings. When I do (I’m not afraid to), I find no one is able to relate.
From women, I think they often want to see me as a stereotypical stoic man. So when I do express myself, I’m seen as “not manly,” which can be a turnoff, whether for romance or friendship.
So how do other sensitive men cope with expressing their feelings?
I am 37, and I use these rules to try and live by:
“I am man enough to cry when I need to.”
“The only requirement for being an adult is to know when it is appropriate to be childish”
I have stopped caring about if others look down on me for being sensitive, crying is an amazing way of clearing your head when you are emotional, a few years ago I got double flat feet, double heel spurs and a bad knee at the same time, when walking home from the bus after work, every single step I took hurt a lot, even after eating painkillers.
I cried openly and hard while blasting Sabaton in my headphones, and all of that gave the energy to keep going.
As an IT guy I find that my greatest strength is in my sensitive side, I pick up on stuff faster than others, and can help users in a more relatable way making what I tell them last longer.