For context, this paragraph is lifted from SomethingAwful’s Fur Trapper Saga, a series of fictional advertisements put out by two fictional fur trappers, who are competing in business.
While one of the trappers, PB Fouke, tries to sell his business on dedication, JF Swanton sells his furs on the promise that he is so cruel of course he’s going to have the best furs.
Doesn’t make it less offensive, but the point being that it was written in character as a fur trapper from the 1800s who regarded himself as much more cruel than all else.
Two days prior to this day, and with absolute faith in the infinite possibilities of science, I climbed the highest peak of the Ozarks in search of the aerie of a North American condor. Having located a particularly fearsome specimen, I engaged the patriotic beast in hand-to-hand combat atop its mountain fastness. I dispatched its mewling young with contemptible ease, but the enraged matron of the flock scored several brutal pecks to my hands and arms. Weakened by these expert exsanguinations, I grabbed the bird around its feathered neck and throttled it.
This dwarf specimen is only one tenth the girth of the creature I faced [drawing of condor]. During what I assumed to be the creature’s last moments of life I was overcome with a natural and complete love of country. I could see bombs bursting red in the sky and singed flags flapping beneath a gently tooting bugle. In my patriotic fugue I unwittingly lessened my grip on the condor’s gizzard, allowing it to slip free my grasp and begin anew its attack on my face. My love for the Union was so powerful that I became blinded by the tears streaming from my eyes.
The site was launched as 4chan.net on October 1, 2003, by Christopher Poole, a then-15-year-old student from New York City using the online handle “moot”.[25] Poole had been a regular participant on Something Awful’s subforum “Anime Death Tentacle Rape Whorehouse” (ADTRW), where many users were familiar with the Japanese imageboard format and Futaba Channel (“2chan.net”).
4chan got it’s start from Something Awful moot a poster on ADTRW (The Anime Forum) and some other faggots needed a site that they could host their Child Porn Anime. Moot also had an obsession with 2Channel so he decided to download Futabally and translate it to English, then host it on a webserver. He originally sent it to 20 of his goon friends and eventually everyone in ADTRW and every other Something Awful board full of closet anime pedophiles (all of them) started to use 4chan and the Internet Hate Machine began.
Makes a lot of sense lol. I appreciate your usage of ED as a source, I find that reading between the opinions yields some shockingly accurate web history. I remember being shocked at their articles for gay and trans people… and then you read the one on straight people and realize they believe in equal treatment.
I love going back to browse ED occasionally. Both because it’s such a blast from the past with so many memes and references I’ve forgotten about, and also just how absolutely batshit insane it is
ED actually fully lives up to the ‘every one is incompetent, stupid and slur, now lemme break down why’, kind of edginess from 2000’s net … ‘discourse’.
And yeah, as you say, it’s written basically with the ‘editorial directive’ to be as merciless and cruel as possible… but it does actually contain a good bit of … well, either actually sourced, or as close to well sourced as is possible for stupid shitshow drama in some tiny community that wiped out all that stuff a decade+ ago, but turns out to be relevant a decade later because the fates ordained this one particular random weirdo to be massively influential.
A … a Deepwater what now?
The other two are at least parseable as … actually describing an actually existing kind of person, albeit using … less than appropriate terminology.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rare+deep+water+jew
Oh. Ohhhkay then.
Thanks 4chan, that’s enough internet for me for now, jfc.
For context, this paragraph is lifted from SomethingAwful’s Fur Trapper Saga, a series of fictional advertisements put out by two fictional fur trappers, who are competing in business.
While one of the trappers, PB Fouke, tries to sell his business on dedication, JF Swanton sells his furs on the promise that he is so cruel of course he’s going to have the best furs.
Doesn’t make it less offensive, but the point being that it was written in character as a fur trapper from the 1800s who regarded himself as much more cruel than all else.
Holy shit theres some hilarious stuff in there!
‘expert exsanguinations’ is not a phrase I think I’ve ever read before, hahah!
Wonderful.
It’s from SomethingAwful, an even older and possibly an even more wretched hive of scum and villainy than 4chan.
This is just more netlore at this point, but:
m00t made 4chan after either convincing a bunch of users of SA’s hentai forum to come join his new cooler and better site without censorship on loli…
… or he just actually got banned from SA for posting too much loli, and thus was 4chan.
I can’t actually source that last claim definitively, but I swear I’ve seen a video with LowTax stating such.
Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan
Encyclopedia Dramatica:
https://edramatica.com/4chan
Lowtax banning Hentai put the fascists into power in the US.
Makes a lot of sense lol. I appreciate your usage of ED as a source, I find that reading between the opinions yields some shockingly accurate web history. I remember being shocked at their articles for gay and trans people… and then you read the one on straight people and realize they believe in equal treatment.
I love going back to browse ED occasionally. Both because it’s such a blast from the past with so many memes and references I’ve forgotten about, and also just how absolutely batshit insane it is
ED actually fully lives up to the ‘every one is incompetent, stupid and
slur, now lemme break down why’, kind of edginess from 2000’s net … ‘discourse’.And yeah, as you say, it’s written basically with the ‘editorial directive’ to be as merciless and cruel as possible… but it does actually contain a good bit of … well, either actually sourced, or as close to well sourced as is possible for stupid shitshow drama in some tiny community that wiped out all that stuff a decade+ ago, but turns out to be relevant a decade later because the fates ordained this one particular random weirdo to be massively influential.
They even have two separate articles for Trump, each from the complete opposite perspective.
That’s hilarious. They’re really keeping the spirit of the wild west-era internet alive.
I’m pretty sure the meme predates the UD definition
Evidently it is from Something Awful, I had not seen it before.