So I look very ugly and honestly don’t look feminine at all and just look like a guy with girls’ clothes draped over him. I have been on HRT for a year and 6 months, I went from 4 to 6mg in April and I still look pretty terrible, I am not sure what I can do differently and I feel like maybe I am overweight which ruined my chances at ever passing and I should have lost it pre hrt. all of my selfies including this one are taken at angles to make me look better, this is one of the few photos I have at a normal angle (this was taken before my college graduation) as you can see I pretty much just look like a dude. I am honestly not even sure if FFS could help me or if a doctor would even consider it worth while.
FOR THE DUMBASS PEPES from the troll instances in the comments I will not listening to your comments, thank you.
You’re f*cking human like everyone else. Real talk - most people don’t pay attention to other people half as much as you think. Imagine your last trip out to the grocery store - do you remember what everyone wore that walked past you? Of course not. You’re more self-conscious of your looks than anyone else.
Who the hell cares if you “pass” or not in your mind. Stop doubting yourself and be who you want to be.
It takes massive courage to step up to society and say “this is who I am.” - so many people in society can’t. You’re a bad-a$$ for being brave enough to take that leap. Why stop now? People like myself admire you for being yourself. Rock it!
Please stop beating yourself up - I know society wants you to doubt yourself but stop.
Echoing this!
Definitely most other people are too self conscious about what everyone thinks of them, to care too much about how they think of you.
the title of your post displays a serious issue that isnt given enough attention. the amount of discourse and controversy about trans people in politics and media leads to many trans people feeling like their existence, or their decision to transition, is a political one. it is not. there is nothing political about you or how you live your life. you dont have to appease anyone. dont let them force you into detransitioning. just be yourself, take care of yourself, and live as the person you want to be.
also, please stop looking at trans discourse in media because clearly it has affected you very negatively. do yourself a favor and cut off the negativity. get yourself a safe space, whether that be here, somewhere else online, or irl, and dont try to confront the negativity. its not worth your time
You don’t owe anyone anything as a trans person. I disagree with the notion that you’re ugly, and I disagree with the notion that you look masculine, but even if you did, the goal of the trans movement isn’t “if you let us be trans then we’ll look perfect and fit exactly into the gender boxes that society expects us to!” The goal of the trans movement is to let people be happy and accepted as whoever they are, whatever way they present. Trans women can be beefy and hairy and fat just as much as they can be petite and curvy, and both are important. Transition is a process, and it’s often a long, hard process, and the goal isn’t just to normalize the idea of transitioning but the reality of it, where people of any gender can look like anything and they might even decide they’re happy to keep looking like that for the rest of their lives. Every person who dares to live and be trans and be proud of it is helping other trans people, regardless of how they look and whether or not they pass. If you want to help, talk to other trans people, organize, be kind and compassionate, don’t just give up because you think your very existence is hurting others. Sky, you’re worth more than you think you are, and you aren’t hurting anyone by being yourself.
Girl, you look a helluva lot more passing than I do. I had a realization about myself though. Covering my shaved arms and legs made me see him in the mirror. I think it’s putting the illusion in my head about how hairy I am, or something. Idk, a cute unicorn onesie just gave me dysphoria cuz my arms were covered. I’m no psychiatrist.
Maybe try changing up your wardrobe. Instead of trying to pass as your trans goals, or something like that, try just something as simple as tank tops and leggings. It’s working for me right now. And maybe stop looking at mirrors and selfies. I need to cut back too, and just listen to my kids.
You look like a woman to me. I was a bit surprised at how hard you are on yourself. We only have so much control over how we look. I am a CIS male and I wish I looked different too. I think we should change what we can to make the best version of ourselves and then make peace with it.
You pass just fine in this photo. I would also suggest getting a new pair of glasses that suits your face a bit better- that will make a HUGE difference.
You are experiencing dysphoria and you’re having trouble seeing yourself. I know that feeling.
If you have a therapist, talk to them about it. If you don’t, and you have insurance or money, see one.
Just a random cis-hetero dude scrolling through /all, but I think you totally pass. body dysphoria is a hell of a drug, even for cis folk. And it’s hard as hell to take a photo of yourself that looks good. I’ve never succeeded in 3 decades. Sending love.
Unironically I thought “why are random women who look like they teach second grade posting on c/amiugly?” I only realized this was a trans sub after I finished reading the title. I just saw this on the all feed lol. I wouldn’t say you look younger than 35 tbh but I also definitely think you look like a woman.
Yeah, I knew OPs face from another post, but this looks like your average city court judge who is so fed up with divorce cases and just waiting for the lawyer to shut up, close the case at go home to take care of her kids or her kittens to me.
You look like my algebra teacher from high school, but younger. Sorry you’re not, like, Scarlett Johansen (or whoever else the reader may find attractive) looking, but you still look like a woman.
I want to second this and also add that I hate running into this vibe sometimes where trans women seem to believe that they’re less valid as women if they aren’t model beautiful? Which, as a ciswoman… my ciswoman friends and I will absolutely tear each other to shreds for that kind of internalized misogyny and I keep finding myself having to holster that aggressive knee-jerk reaction when I see trans ladies doing it because I worry that, online, it would read as aggressive against the lady posting and not against the system in her head telling her that she has less value as a woman for (whatever stupid reason)!
You look like a woman to me. I wish you’d be easier on yourself. 😔
Hey all, I am really sorry for freaking out yesterday. Thank you all for being so supportive however! Love ya all
Transitioning isn’t about passing, it’s about helping you to be comfortable with who you are. If changing your body and appearance isn’t working for you, then it’s time to look into other forms of therapy. Seeking validation or confirmation of negative feelings online won’t provide what you need, even in gender affirming communities.
I would suggest talking to a therapist if you can find/afford one. There are therapists who specialize in trans issues and are willing to assist those who cannot afford it. I don’t have better info on that because I have never needed it, but I have heard that they exist.
I wish the best for you and hope you can find a way to feel comfortable with yourself.
I look at you and see a person. A person who doesn’t deserve the critical words that you’re writing about yourself. I don’t feel comfortable as a cis man coming into this space and telling someone whether they pass so I won’t (that doesn’t mean I don’t think you do!). But the only person who defines who you are is you.
Are you transitioning so that the republicans might be right about something? Therapy, medications, all sorts of thoughts and emotions, changing your body… I didn’t think so. Anyone who assumes as much by simply looking at you isn’t worth my time, and I hope they’re not worth yours either.
Remember, everyone only has so much control over their own appearance, it only represents what’s inside as much as it will let us. The rest has to be made up for by acceptance. You’re so not alone there.
Look around at these comments… You have people from all over the internet telling you directly or indirectly the same thing. Be who you are. For yourself. Or you’ll never be happy.
you pass imo but your hair being completely unkept is not helping you.
also, this is the second topic you have posted where you vent insecurity over “not passing” and the comments disagree with you are clearly not helping so what exactly is your intention here? I don’t mean to be rude I’m just genuinely curious because you posted essentially the same topic already and while I am empathetic and understand the need to have a space to vent, i do find the general mindset you are projecting to be unhealthy.
