I’d totally rock a minivan with all options checked. Captain’s chairs? 12 speaker audio system? Wireless Android Auto support? Double sunroof? Towing package? The plug-in hybrid powertrain with the eco i4 turbo? 8-way power seats with lumbar and massage? Rear seating entertainment with 4 screens (of course I got the 3-row seating)? Power doors and hatch? Integrated vacuum? Fuck yeah, give it to me. All of it.
Then when the teenagers roll up in daddy’s Camaro, I disable eco mode, engage AWD, crank the turbo psi with my Cobb AccessPort, and when we are in 4th gear I fire the nitrous hidden under the second row. Badass do-it-all sleeper minivan.
Oh and the stick figure family? All lies. Say hello to the polyamourous gay relationship, and our dog Spot. No white-picket fence American dream here. See you at Costco, loser. 😎
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Minivans are great in the snow
FYI if you’re single a minivan is just a mobile fuck palace
Not just fuck place, general chill out place overall, bring small LCD TV and gaming console and hookah and portable barbeque, portable chill out place done, ahh… Almost forgot, bring inflatable mattress with electric air compressor to inflate bed in trunk before everything, and portable fuck place complete too, basically minivan is superior vehicle if you don’t need to keep appearances
I really did have a blue minivan when I was single, though.
Stealth mini-campervan be like: am i a joke to you?
