i cannot believe how comically apropos and ironic and terrible the entire thing was

ok, get this

first off they came in on a sat night and reserved like half of our fucking tables, like a 30-top so we had to rearrange the entire place for their meetup. they show up huddled outside the restaurant like boy scouts waiting to be lead by their troop leader, but like, 34 year old men (who look EXACTLY like you would expect these fucking dorks to look like; seriously, not even gonna describe them, just picture an effective altruist and yes, thats exactly what they ALL looked like, it was surreal)

ok anyway then they are directed by their troop leader to be seated and that there’s a one drink minimum tonight (the leaders have t shirts that say effective altruism on them…uggghhh), they all proceed to order one drink

literally the rest of the night they do not order a single god damn fucking thing. one of them ordered like 2 sides of fries for the entire group and 2 pizzas for the entire group of 30 people. these pizzas feed 2 people a piece… like, maybe

they proceeded to complain that we arent filling their waters enough. as i refilled their waters, i had to listen to the most insufferable fucking dialogue i have ever heard in my entire adult life. oh my god i was trying so hard not to burst out laughing and/or murder them every time i walked by, like “i was thinking the other day, is it ethical to even exist??? bro, i dont know, sopheclese says” blah blah fucking blah and prenatalism vs promortalism and holy fucking mother of god dude we get it you listen to the sam harris podcast shut up shut up shut the fuck up before i take that pizza tray and beat your ass to death with it oh my god

they then tried to split the check 30 ways, I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP. YOU CANT, I DARE YOU

we were so staffed up (it was a fucking SATURDAY NIGHT) and we made zero fucking money collectively because these fucking pretentious adult children do not understand the most basic fucking etique, norms or standards that pertain to regular fucking civil society, we must have collectively lost $500 in tips for the entire staff because of the people we physically could not seat because of them.

they stayed until an hour after closing and we had to physically start removing their tables to get them to leave. i will never forget this night

the tip was a pittance obviously, even broke college students tip better, anyway, had to share!

      • DefinitelyNotAPhone [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        51·
        2 months ago

        You have to scan all 30 cards, then print out receipts for all of them, then assemble each card with its corresponding receipt, then prep 30 pens + card holders for that, then hand them out to the right people, then input all of their tips afterwards, and hope nobody fucks anything up else you’re dragging a manager over for the worst night of your life.

        It’s actual hell dealing with more than 3 cards per table.

        • ComradeMonotreme [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
          15·
          2 months ago

          These people suck and should be put in the contraption but it is baffling as an Australian that people in other countries just don’t tap their credit card oncw the machine one and it’s done.

        • keepcarrot [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          10·
          2 months ago

          I’d definitely prefer electronic menu ordering if 30 people are going to pay individually. Have had to do it before when everyone at a large gathering is broke af and no one can afford the float even if everyone can afford their meals >.> EAs have money though, at least one of them can afford to be 1k poorer for a night while their friends get back to them

      • REgon [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
        22·
        2 months ago

        What @[email protected] says and on top of that you also have to retroactively figure out who ordered what, which takes fucking ages because people have no idea what they’ve ordered so you gotta sit and wait for them all to discuss and work out who ordered what “yeah but you ended up eating a bunch of my fries!” and how they split everything and it’s just… ugh.
        If you’re more than 4 (and even that is pushing it) just have one of you shell out and then figure out the bill amongst yourselves afterwards.