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Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It’s fun to be a vampire.
But you must feed!
You’ve clearly never heard of vegan vampires.
They only eat vegetables
Bunnicula, the scourge of vegetables everywhere
And have 3 wifes.
And when a young guy comes to your castle, terrorize him until he leaves. Then follow him home and hook up with his gal.
