Couldn’t he maybe prick his finger with a needle first, and go from there?
Nope. Dick-first dive into a table saw.
If it works, instant proven invulnerability, if not, at least two (half) dicks.
Or he could try literally any other test. There’s a vast chasm between pricking your finger and slamming your crotch into a table saw. This guy chose maximum escalation.
Maximum Effort
Yeah, if he was a pussy.
He will be soon.
That’s how my buddy’s dad’s fingers are now a fraction of an inch shorter, and bend at weird angles at the first knuckle
Bro was just looking for an excuse for a sex change operation.
Simply by positioning, he chose to cut off the most useless part of himself at that point in time.
Mom and Dad are now more similar than they are different.
Bottom surgery or something, I’m not a doctor
Avenge meeeee… my only son…
More context than you could ever need, and yet the context is still really “comics are batshit insane”.
Speaking of context, their podcast Dogg Zzone 9000 is bonkers and so incredibly funny. As well as their other podcast, Bigfeets.
Of the Cracked diaspora, their content is my favorite. Or at least tired with Behind the Bastards.
He might be the first person to disembowel themself on a table saw
I don’t know, people can be super creative with their stupidity.
This happened quite some time ago, but it’s so creatively stupid that I have never stopped being impressed with the hold my beer nature of it.
https://www.spokesman.com/stories/1996/feb/28/woman-tries-to-shoot-callus-off-her-foot/
Did she get the callus?! Damn article never even tells you if she got callus off.
They fear once you learn the truth you too may be empowered to remove callusii from your foot - thus threatening Big Callus Removal and the status quo.
I don’t see why it wouldn’t work… The hard bit is not taking off more than you meant to. Oh and of course you have to deal with the whole open-shotgun-wound situation.
Totally expected that to be the sawzall dildo
Compiled From Wire Services . . . She was taken to Ball Hospital for psychiatric evaluation
Oh jeez, was this Muncie?
She told investigators she drank a gallon of vodka and two or three beers
Sounds like Muncie
As a Terre Haute resident, I wish we were Muncie.
That reminds me, I need a new blade for my buzz-saw.
YEET
