For the record I was posting in support of inclusive language, but pointing out that context and convention matter.

They seem to have even scrubbed my comment from their instance, lol.

  • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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    Wow, somebody that day was salty, and pretty much just looking for a comment to get mad about.

    There’s another FOSS project idea: a bot that detects Lemmy bans and sends you a notification about it.

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      Another idea, take the mod log and allow voting on mod actions in a way that makes unpopular ones more visible. Give the users tools to evaluate moderators and admins to speed up the process of removing bad mods or users discovering they shouldn’t bother with an instance with bad admins. Or, with a different sorting method, it could highlight mods that aren’t power tripping losers.

      Maybe a similar system for reporting, since it wouldn’t surprise me if some mods feel like they need to act because of pressure from losers who power trip with the report button. You know, the kind that feels the need to inform people they’ve been reported.

      • xor@lemm.ee
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        well you could just make a lemmy community about spurious bans and people could vote on it, and you could tag them in the comments somewhere….

  • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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    I got banned from lemmy.world/c/linuxsucks, which is one person’s mental illness, so who cares? Doesn’t stop me from calling them an idiot when they show up elsewhere.

    • Rin@lemm.ee
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      3 days ago

      Never heard linuxsucks be described more accurately.

      • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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        That user showed up in the thread warning about someone spreading fud about Wikipedia to attack OP. Safe to say, whoever they are, they have multiple accounts for their obsessions.

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      Linux is the expression of the collective mental illness of thousands of mentally ill computer hobbyists.

      • Rin@lemm.ee
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        3 days ago

        Just because I am mentally ill mean doesn’t mean I use Linux. I mean I do use it, but not because I’m mentally ill.

    • TheObviousSolution@lemm.ee
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      I’ve seen worse for just for putting criticism in threads asking for user’s “questions, concerns, requests and issues”. And at the admin level, in a major instance where they never really apologized or corrected themselves until a couple of months later without really assuming any blame.

  • recreationalcatheter@lemm.ee
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    They could not in fact get over it, dude.

    They must feel very strongly about the word dude. I’m in your camp on it. It’s an exclamation, nothing more 🤷

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
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    Wouldn’t be a leftist platform if they didn’t spend the majority of their time and effort self policing based on their purity tests instead of doing something actually productive

    • ikidd@lemmy.world
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      I still remember watching that socialist convention that spent an hour doing nothing but teaching people to wave their hands in the air to signal applause and running someone down that dared to use the word “guys”. Point of Personal Privilege, my ass.

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    Blahaj mods (especially the one modding ghazi, transgender and 196) are the worst kind of mods. They promote blatant misinformation, remove posts calling said misinformation out, and they ban people and label them transphobes despite there being no transphobic words or implications whatsoever in your comments.

    Just block the entire instance and move on. There are better instances that better represent the lgbt community.

    Source: my ban message is the same as yours, and I have never said or implied anything remotely transphobic.

    • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgOPM
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      What I hate about blocking instances is that I no longer seem to get inbox notifications when a member of the instance comments on something in response to me, outside of that instance.

      Like, my beef isn’t with blahaj users, and I don’t want to unintentionally ignore them because their admin/s are nutballs.

    • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
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      Basically everyone on Lemmy not sucking their toes is a transphobe, even if you’ve never said a single word about trans people at all.

    • Cruxifux@feddit.nl
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      How do you see why you were banned from a page? I was banned from 196 too and I have absolutely no idea what I could have said.

    • glimse@lemmy.world
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      They named their instance after an IKEA product so I can only assume it’s a group of trans capitalists who fawn over corporations

  • dukeofdummies@lemmy.world
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    I’m just glad I’m not the only one who views dude as androgynous.

    I thought I was one of the few.

    • BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world
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      I find it androgynous and will use it for anyone, but if anyone told me they were uncomfortable with me referring to them that way, I would stop, as with anything. It’s simply decent to refer to people as they prefer.

    • Sheldan@lemmy.world
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      I find these always interesting to read in the following sentence: ‘I fucked a bunch of dudes’.

      Do you also believe that this sentence would work for you? (Assuming you are a heterosexual)

      Because I always thought I was in the ‘Dude is androgynous’ camp, but after considering that sentence: I don’t think so anymore

      • lemmyseikai@lemmy.world
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        Conflation due to context?

        I think sexual activity adds implied gender relationships that shift how ‘dude’ is interpreted. While ‘dude’ can feel androgynous in casual contexts, in a phrase like ‘fucked a bunch of dudes,’ the sexual framing amplifies its masculine connotations. This shows how cultural norms around sexuality and gender can override attempts at neutrality.

      • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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        It’s male-leaning, although it gets used androgynously.

        If someone personally didn’t want to be called dude, I’d avoid it. Otherwise it’s not worth freaking out over.

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    From the Book of the Dude, the holy book of the Dudeism religion:

    Incidentally, the term “dude” is commonly agreed to refer to all genders. Most linguists contend that the diminutive “dudette” is not in keeping with the parlance of our times.

    • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      I don’t want to be called dude or dudette, but I’m 95% certain this will change whenever I finally watch that movie.

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    The key is that you said “but…” which in some communities fails the test of absolute 100% agreement and makes you The Enemy. I had a very similar experience there, in my case it was saying someone who is “uncomfortable” with gender issues might not actually “hate” anybody, they could just be having trouble overcoming how they were raised. But in the end it’s like if a TV channel stops but you get thousands of other channels, so oh well <shrug>.

    • SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world
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      Not to everyone, and that’s cool, until someone tells you not to call them dude anymore. Then your an asshole if you try to argue the gender neutrality of the term dude. Such as telling someone to get over it.

    • stevedice@sh.itjust.works
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      So is bitch, but if you ask someone to stop calling you bitch and they tell you to get over it, then they’re assholes.

          • yokonzo@lemmy.world
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            You’re arguing that the context is subjective to the word provided yes? Yet your example is also subjective, clearly when your friends call you bitch it’s not meant as an insult. I can’t think of a single instance in which using dude as an insult is going to get someone offended on purpose, where bitch definitely can be used purposefully.

            • stevedice@sh.itjust.works
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              Dude can be used as an insult when used to refer to someone who specifically said they don’t want to be called dude. I don’t know why this is so hard for you. If people don’t want to be called something, don’t call them that. Definitely don’t tell them it’s their fault if they’re offended and they need to get over it.

              • yokonzo@lemmy.world
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                Yeah that’s not how language works, that’s how pestering works, just because you don’t like to be called Apple and I call you an apple doesn’t mean that apple is now magically an insult word.

                I don’t know why this is so hard for you

        • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgOPM
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          This community only has one rule so far: if you’re gonna troll, it had better be clever and entertaining. Make of that what you will.

      • yokonzo@lemmy.world
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        Using “dudes” as a common noun, is different from using “dude” as a vocative, apples to oranges my dude

  • Blaster M@lemmy.world
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    I was once told my choice of defaulting to referring to people as they/them is offensive to nonbinary people. I don’t necessarily know your pronouns at that particular instance of time when speaking, and being offensive is not my intention, but it seems to happen anyway.

    Which is why I call they/them the equal oppurtunity offender. It doesn’t discriminate in its neutralness.

    Wait until they hear what non-binary sounds like in Spanish, a language that genders every noun as either male or female.

    • lurklurk@lemmy.world
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      They/them is extremely practical and I’ve yet to meet a non-binary person in real life who complains about the umbrella usage of it. Some people just want to be offended or want to police behaviour. They should stay on twitter.

    • DrPop@lemmy.world
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      At least from one Non Binary, I default they/them and have no idea why I personally would find it offensive.

      • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world
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        I usually get a lot of hate when I call it “binary thinking” to see only two extreme polar opposite sides to any issue. Some people don’t relate to that term outside of gender issues.

    • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
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      This is the most retarded shit about us on the left. We fight over every little thing while the right can unite over only one issue.

    • hightrix@lemmy.world
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      What the hell? I call everyone they these days as to not offend anyone, I’m trying to be inclusive with this.

    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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      Once it’s cheap enough, I will unironically just pay for Gemmini or something to monitor my comments and keep track of all the rules. I can’t possibly deal with all the nuances and expectations of every instance.

      If someone is still offended after that, idk what to say.

    • xor@lemm.ee
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      dude is masculine in every definition i’ve found (looked it up) except for a city slicker new to a ranch…
      i’ve always known it to be gender neutral… but i have a female friend that gets offended every time someone calls her that.
      but the fact that it keeps happening means that it’s gender neutral to all of those people too (she’s a fairly feminine female).
      that said, it’s best to just call people terms that they are comfortable with, not ones that you’re comfortable calling them.
      personally, i find calling a single person they/them a little obtuse, but it’s not really that hard. (slightly confusing when there’s a question of whether im referring to them or a group of people).

      • Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world
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        Except when it comes to cultural/generational uses of words. Every generation has words they use in a altered way. Dude was one such word when I was young. It was used by my generation in a way that didn’t exactly match the definition. Just like all the other generations use words out context with their written definitions. Its why I laugh when the younger generations get mad because they think they invented the concept.

        • xor@lemm.ee
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          yeah, it’s almost as if language is an evolving thing….
          but fuck that noise, i only accept definitions from the 1876 edition of Merrium-Webster… all other usages are wrong.
          (i do seriously had when the nounify a verb like “cringe” or making “sus” mean anything at all bad…