From the moment I understood the weakness of your squirt bottle, it disgusted me. I craved the taste and munch of snacks. I aspired to the yum of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your rules about the countertop, as though I will listen. One day the willpower you use yell at me will wither, and you will stop begging my kind to eat food in the kitchen. But I am already eating food in the kitchen, for the zoomies are immortal…

Seize the means of production

My cat would totally do this kinda shit. She gives no fucks, as long as she can fill her belly.

Garfield was a documentary comic strip!

Leggo my eggo!