• gamer@lemm.ee
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    9 hours ago

    I still have my fingers crossed that RFK accidentally gives him some kind of super ebola that causes his anus to melt

    • trollercoaster@sh.itjust.works
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      3 hours ago

      He’ll just wear a bigger diaper then. A huuuge diaper, absolutely tremendous. The biggest in the world.

      gesticulates with tiny hands to indicate gargantuan size

  • pjwestin@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    Kinda incredible how quickly he pivoted from, “We’re gonna stop spending billions on all these wars,” to, “Fuck it, I feel like invading Greenland.”

    • Pilferjinx@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      I feel like if they make good on their threat of exiting NATO we’ll soon see the US invade an “ally”

      • pjwestin@lemmy.world
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        9 hours ago

        It’s fucking insane. Even MAGAs didn’t vote for this. He just suddenly started talking about taking over Greenland and making Canada a state between the election and the inauguration, and the billionaires are just trying to extract whatever wealth they can out of our government before grandpa drives the car into a ditch.

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    Are we minions? Really? Like the entire USA doesn’t have a way to remove this guy on a technicality at least? …to be president you must also be 7ft tall or younger than 65y? Must fit thru a 12" wide slot without extruding internal organs? Something! Maybe hair must be exactly 27um thick at the root and this must be measured after a hefty meal.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      Like the entire USA doesn’t have a way to remove this guy on a technicality at least?

      If the entire US wanted him gone, he wouldn’t have taken off to begin with. The problem is that big swaths of the country are absolutely Q-pilled on this guy. They genuinely believe his schtick (thanks, in no small part, to a fully compliant corporate media and a complicit religious movement).

      Past that, there’s a mushy middle that feels utterly powerless. I’m sitting here on my couch in Houston. I don’t have any way to get rid of my shitty mayor, much less my fascist President. The issue isn’t finding a technicality. The issue is that bureaucrats in the US aren’t seriously interested in doing a coup. Comey/Mueller aren’t coming to save anyone. Hell, much of the police state is in the bag for this guy in one way or another. We’ve got enough Pam Bondis and Tulsi Gabbards and Ken Paxtons and Pete Hegseths and Michael Flynns bouncing around the branches of government that nominally provide national security to buffer out the opposition.

      It comes down to the fundamental problem of the American system of governance. We weren’t that far off the mark from outright fascism under Reagan or Truman. Trump’s crassness and ignominity are not, themselves, sufficient to get him removed from office. He’ll get away with trying to seize control of Greenland for the same reason Bush Jr got away with invading Iraq and LBJ got away with invading Vietnam and McKinley got away with invading the Philippines. Because this is who we are as a country. We’re a big military that steals shit from the periphery to enrich the elites in our imperial core.

      We’re an Imperial Power full of violent, invasion-loving thugs, rapists, and looters. We’re doing what we’ve always done.

  • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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    17 hours ago

    Trump is making it unsafe for Americans to travel across the globe. Seriously if he keeps making these hostile statements some person with mental health issues will snap and attack American tourists in Denmark.

    • M0oP0o@mander.xyz
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      14 hours ago

      Prepare for a lot of fake Canadians.

      Easy test, make fun of the usa in front of them. Any Canadian worth their salt will join in (more so now a days), but most americans can not seem to do so without mentioning weird colours and parties.

    • NotLemming@lemm.ee
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      14 hours ago

      These Yanks will be putting Canada flag patches on their luggage again.

      We need to develop a purity test to weed out the fake Canadians trying to come to our countries and steal our sanity. Somebody give me a shibboleth - something Americans can’t pronounce properly but Canadians can.

      Canurope first!

        • NotLemming@lemm.ee
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          11 hours ago

          When you go to a hospital on the verge of death, do the medical staff A: Save your life B: Ask for your health insurance details C: Accuse you of trying to abort a foetus and call the cops while you bleed out in the waiting room ?

          • M0oP0o@mander.xyz
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            10 hours ago

            Oh that way you can also find out how deep in the states they are from. I like it.

  • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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    9 hours ago

    How about using his powers of imagination then? The mind is the mightiest province of all (until dementia lays waste to it of course).

    • grue@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Somebody’s feeding him grandiose ideas about global warming and northern sea routes. Probably some flattering lies about splitting said routes between them and dominating world trade too, once Canada and the EU are out of the way.

      • ECB@feddit.org
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        16 hours ago

        True, same reason he’s hung up on the Panama canal (and why they always get brought up together)

      • federal reverse@feddit.orgM
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        22 hours ago

        To be fair, China has been investing in thawing sea routes for a while, though largely to free themselves from having to pass through the US-controlled South China Sea.

    • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      It has room to move people into as climate change makes living in the equatorial regions difficult.

      It has a bunch of minerals the USA could use.

      It houses a NATO base that if it were in Russia’s hands would make it easier for Russia to eventually project force westward.

      There are reasons for America to want Greenland. They all happen to be evil which Im fairly positive is a side benefit for the current administration.

    • misk@sopuli.xyz
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      1 day ago

      Or, he recognises that arctic and subarctic territories are going to be worth much more in the future because of global warming. Trump is a major scatterbrain but in general it looks like he’s acting impulsively based on pieces of trivia, some of them being correct. Not that I agree with proposed solution to the issue but not everything he does is entirely dumb and those are very rarely inconsistent with his own interests.

        • misk@sopuli.xyz
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          13 hours ago

          He’s filthy rich now that he’s running a crypto scam for taking in bribes, so I wouldn’t say those are handlers rather than revenue streams. Other people are not in control of Trump, he’s a human wrecking ball that confuses theatre for politics, similar to general population that elected him.

      • doodledup@lemmy.world
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        24 hours ago

        Perfect plan: support fossile fuels, eliminate renuables, buy Greenland, gain the profits from global warming and melting ice.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyz
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      1 day ago

      Damn you web mercator projection! If only Robinson projection was the default on google/apple/whatever trump uses -map.

      • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
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        20 hours ago

        To be fair even on a globe Greenland is still massive. Just not quite as bad on Mercator.

        • 8fingerlouie@lemmy.world
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          20 hours ago

          It is also mostly ice. The entirety of the central Greenland is covered by 1.6km to 3.7km thick ice.

          Settlements are around the coast, as Greenland has about 100km roads in total, no railroads and no inland water.

          • wer2@lemm.ee
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            16 hours ago

            Republicans hate railroads, so that’s actually a plus for them.

        • Lazycog@sopuli.xyz
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          19 hours ago

          Yeah but on mercator it looks bigger than Africa. Africa is actually really huge

          Edit: wording.

  • Darkard@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Just casually threatening war with NATO. From Mr “yOuR ThReAtEnInG wOrLd WaR 3” less than a week ago

  • Rene@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    If they would offer everyone in Greenland 1million that would be about 56 billion right? If you have friends with deep pockets…

    • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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      20 hours ago

      It’s just going to be a bathroom in March of Legos. Or somewhere near where he buried evidence an ex-wife.

      He’s not clever enough for the air hole…