Lemmy.zip
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
can@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

Scientists Train Full-Grown Man To Ask For Help When Needed

www.theonion.com

external-link
message-square
23
link
fedilink
  • cross-posted to:
  • [email protected]
403
external-link

Scientists Train Full-Grown Man To Ask For Help When Needed

www.theonion.com

can@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
message-square
23
link
fedilink
  • cross-posted to:
  • [email protected]
STANFORD, CA—In a cutting-edge breakthrough for their field, psychologists at Stanford University confirmed Thursday they had trained a full-grown man to ask for help when he needed it. “After years of rigorous experimentation, we believe the test subject, whom we have named Buster, is finally capable of requesting…
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • frickineh@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    41
    ·
    1 year ago

    Now train my mom. Or at least get her to stop being pissy because I didn’t help her with a task I didn’t know she was doing in the first place.

    Jk that’s literally impossible.

    • money_loo@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      10
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Apparently everyone’s mom is in this comment lmao

      • frickineh@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        1 year ago

        It’s the most infuriating quality of mothers everywhere, I guess. Like holy shit, I’ll help you, but you can’t just expect me to have a spidey sense for when you’ve decided to do some plumbing MY GOD MOTHER.

        Ahem.

  • that guy@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    35
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    I know this is satire but if you want better men you have to teach boys a better rite of passage than becoming an alcoholic

  • colforge@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    28
    ·
    1 year ago

    I love that the picture shows the man using the ASL sign for Help. Nice touch.

  • TigrisMorte@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    1 year ago

    When will they train People to actually help as opposed to simply advising platitudes?

    • metaStatic@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      1 year ago

      Just man up

      • TigrisMorte@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        1 year ago

        Walk it off.

        • intensely_human@lemm.eeBanned from community
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          Removed by mod

    • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Kek

      • TigrisMorte@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        https://youtu.be/ELkgiJD9KuM?si=Grh0PgpBJ2G6u-0y

      • tygerprints@kbin.socialBanned
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Removed by mod

      • insomniac_lemon@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 year ago

        Hydraulic press time?

        • tygerprints@kbin.socialBanned
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          Removed by mod

    • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      You just gotta keep your eyes on the prize.

    • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      deleted by creator

    • tygerprints@kbin.socialBanned
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Removed by mod

  • SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    16
    ·
    1 year ago

    Wait Can I apply for this??

    • bradorsomething@ttrpg.network
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      19
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      If you can ask, you don’t need to.

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    1 year ago

    What a time to be alive!

  • TealTallMachine@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    1 year ago

    “The test subject, whom we have named Buster”

    Lol

  • anewbeginning@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    1 year ago

    I wish this didn’t ring so true.

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      1 year ago

      The Onion just reports facts these days

  • tygerprints@kbin.socialBanned
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Removed by mod

    • Kbin_space_program@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      First men need places to ask help of.

      • Nepenthe@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        I know there is one man out there who has friends he talks to and also perhaps a therapist. Same as women. That guy? That semi-theoretical guy is hot. That guy knows how to communicate like you wouldn’t believe.

        • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 year ago

          I have friends I can talk to, a therapist, and medication.

          I still have a lot of difficulty communicating what’s rattling around my head, and I’m still not doing great.

        • tygerprints@kbin.socialBanned
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          Removed by mod

      • tygerprints@kbin.socialBanned
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Removed by mod

        • intensely_human@lemm.eeBanned from community
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          Removed by mod

        • Kbin_space_program@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          Not just that, but that goes for everyone.

          Men need men only spaces. Women have women’s shelters in every city in every western country.
          For men, you’re lucky if your country has a shelter. You’re lucky if the law even recognizes you being abused as a crime.

          • tygerprints@kbin.socialBanned
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            Removed by mod

    • intensely_human@lemm.eeBanned from community
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Removed by mod

  • MajorHavoc@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’ll wait to get my hopes up until we find out if anyone can replicate their results.

  • cro_magnon_gilf@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

The Onion@midwest.social

theonion@midwest.social

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: [email protected]

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

  • The Onion
  • Clickhole
  • McSweeney’s
  • Reductress
  • The Chaser
  • The Hard Times
    • The Hard Drive
  • The Needling
  • Tattletale Times
  • The Beaverton
Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 198 users / day
  • 1.76K users / week
  • 5.37K users / month
  • 13.1K users / 6 months
  • 119 local subscribers
  • 5.9K subscribers
  • 1.42K Posts
  • 18.1K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.social
  • pbrisgreat@midwest.social
  • BE: 0.19.11
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org