• CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    So she’s complaining about sensitive guys, but also doesn’t want them to be emotionally distant.

    Basically wants the guy to do the “emotional labour” but not do any herself.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Its just a litany of performative complaints to get attention. Standard Social Media interaction bait. More people respond, your metrics go up, more businesses are willing to give you money to do native advertising on their behalf.

      • Lad@reddthat.com
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        11 months ago

        Exactly. Insert the word “woke” into any post and get that ragebait interaction.

      • daltotron@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Trolling has become incredibly easy on the modern internet. It was always pretty easy, but I feel like it used to have to have more juice, you know?

    • Keeponstalin@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Emotional Labor is for the individual to do. If you feel like you need help, that’s what a therapist is for. Do you expect a gf to be your therapist? Sharing and expressing feelings is a normal part of a relationship, but expecting your SO to also be your own personal therapist is completely unhealthy. Everyone has their own emotional Labor to do, why should anyone else (who’s not a therapist) be expected to do yours?

      • jackoneill@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        uhhh, yeah, my wife and i try to be the best therapist we can be for each other. not wanting to do that for the person you love seems weird to me.

        • Keeponstalin@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          I’m talking about an unhealthy codependency that can happen when someone with a developed fight-response pairs with someone with a developed fawn-response. It sounds like you two have a healthy relationship where you can discuss each other’s problems with each other freely. Which is good.

          Personally, no I wouldn’t expect my partner to unravel my own personal cPTSD for me. I would work on it myself and with a therapist need be. Discussing my progress and thoughts on my own cPTSD and hearing my partner’s is a healthy thing to do.

      • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        Everyone has their own emotional Labor to do, why should anyone else (who’s not a therapist) be expected to do yours?

        Because part of a healthy relationship involves sharing with your partner and helping them through their struggles, emotional or otherwise?

        • Keeponstalin@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Sharing and expressing feelings is a normal part of a relationship, but expecting your SO to also be your own personal therapist is completely unhealthy

          I literally said that. The difference is sharing your own progress in a healthy way compared to expecting your SO to do the progress for you