It’s amazing, really. The only downsides are that a tiny bit of the muddled feeling crept back in when I started official HRT, since it means I’m stuck at 2mg/100mg for a while (while I still have a bunch of extra estradiol and cypro, I don’t want to mess with things too much and spares are good to have if USpol causes a supply disruption), but even at baby doses it’s still night and day versus what I felt like before.

Seriously, there is NO WAY I would have told anyone besides one of the very few romantic partners I’ve had “I love you” until now.

Looking pretty good! And thanks for reminding me that I should probably do something with my hair.

Thank you! I’m kind of amazed people have managed to put up with my endless questions and random outbursts of The Nerves and what even are emotions this is hard. No, seriously, my brother in law (who’s a cop from Texas, go figure) has been incredibly nice and wound up talking about how he had to carry me around the USS Lexington when I was, like, eight, and oh, oh dear, here come a few years of tears.

I’m still stunned that I’ve never, ever told my sisters that I love them before yesterday. I guess I’m not completely shocked, because my parents have always been…frigid? emotionless? and that tends to color how you interact with other people, especially close relatives. But still, damn.

The catch is that I don’t live at home so I’m not seeing her constantly. I’ve seen her a few times since coming out, but the OTHER problem is that we both immediately get defensive, which tends to mask or (temporarily) wipe out all of the positive changes. That’s why I was kinda hoping for something that I could hopefully make her read, rather than trying to talk through things when there’s a high chance of things getting accusatory or overly-defensive.