I’m 35, I do okay. I mumble when I’m shy, and when I’m not into it, i.e. the pleasantries over the counter in a shop. I had the ‘you talk like a robot’ comments all through school. I know I speak a certain way and I’m mostly okay with it.
I bought a coffee this morning before getting the train into work. I did my usual awkward mumbling, I ordered the flat white with all the elocution I could muster so as to avoid repeating myself - I hate repeating myself - but the rest was mumbled and just audible enough for them to know that I asked to pay by card and that I was thanking them as I left.
There were two clerks, a small independent shop. The male clerk, upon me saying thanks and turning to walk to the door, gave an exaggerated mumble, which made the girl working with him laugh. I ignored it and left, but afterwards it really griped on me.
The only way to communicate with the establishment is by instagram, so I set up an account and messaged the business account (they own 3 shops in my local area). The person followed it up; naturally the pair working there said that it never happened. The owner has invited me back tomorrow, when he will be working with the male clerk, to receive an apology. I don’t think I want to go. Should I go? I’m not sure what outcome I wanted, I think I just wanted to speak out about it.
I appreciate that the quiet hours in the shop are boring, and they need to make their own entertainment, but he could have just waited for me to leave the shop before he made his joke - although I do understand that to impress the girl it must done to me brazenly, for the shock factor required to make such a witless joke funny.
I’m not quite sure why this has aggravated me so much today, but it has. I can normally roll my eyes at this kind of stuff or laugh it off, but it really wound me up. Maybe because I am a paying customer and expect that in engaging in this process I am not going to encounter this kind of playground mentality.
For all the social outrage culture online directed at every real and perceived way one can be insulting to people who are not cis, people who are an ethnic minority, people who are any particular religion, people who have an obvious physical disability, people who are overweight, people who are underweight, etc etc…
I have never once met any one in the real that gives a flying fuck about trying to be nice to autistic people, nor have I ever met one online /who is not autistic themselves/.
Normies do not give a flying fuck about neurodivergent people and will instead yap on about how they are good people because they care about latest trending meme about latest trending victim group.
They you can use your ‘autism powers’ (objective, dispassionate analysis) to explain to them that they are hypocrites, evidenced by the very way they treat you, an actual autistic person they actually know.
Then they will hate you because you have momentarily burst their cognitive dissonance forcefield that allows them to feel good about themselves by lying to themselves about how they are actually morally good people.
At this point in my life I am /correctly/ terrified of trying to form any serious relationship with any non autistic person /because this always happens every single time/.
There is no point whatsoever in devoting time energy and resources to cultivating a meaningful relationship with normies, at least in my life they are all unkind, unwilling to do literally anything to ease a relationship with an autistic person, they never respect boundaries, they always gaslight and they are always hypocrites.
This is not catastrophization, this is my lived experience. I am not being hyperbolic whatsoever.
And yes, this also applies to every therapist counselor or psychologist I have ever had. They also gaslight, infantilize, and suggest you to do things that you have already explained to them /do not work/ in the realm of forming meaningful relationships with normies.
There are good people out there that care that aren’t autistic, I can confirm that I’m married to one of them, and their immediate family is like that too (they have had their cognitive dissonance challenged by me, and they reflected and changed). I’m sorry you haven’t met anyone like that yet.
You have your mind set in stone and for good reason (lived experiences), but it’s not true, and to me it’s hyperbolic. There are a lot of shit people out there, luckily they aren’t all like that (my partner, friends, and previous partners are testament to that).
That’s a bit harsh I’m sorry that this is your experience and I honestly hope you meet people who can show you another side to things
A lot of people are shitty to everyone, but there are a few decent people out there.
Well, thanks, I hope so to, but at this point it doesn’t seem likely.
Who knows, maybe I will meet someone nice.
Right now I cannot afford to venture outside of my shitty motel room halfway across the country due to being made homeless and put into astounding financial debt due to the actions of the people I trusted most.
I am so injured and have so many torn ligaments and deeply bruised muscles that I cannot walk around for more than one trip to a nearby store once a day, and I am surrounded by basically other homeless people, many of whom will have no problem assaulting me or stealing from me if I say any random thing that makes them angry or they want something I have.
So by far the best plan for now is avoid contact with anyone as much as possible until I am at least actually physically capable of fleeing yet another attempted mugging.