As someone who often feels guilty asking for any kind of financial assistance, I’d encourage you to really know that mutual aid is a system of trust. Comrades here support you and care about you because we know that we are a part of a system that is fucking all of us over. Some of us may have ended up getting by better than others, and it sucks because these circumstances aren’t all about “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” like many chuds want to claim they are. Through mutual aid assistance, I recently got my monthly rent covered, and I’m forever thankful for all who contributed. It, psychologically speaking, makes sense that a system like capitalism will make you feel like shit and annoying because capitalism, capitalists, and their supporters all want to make you think that you going through economically disparaging times is YOUR fault and you failing to be as financially well-off is an indicator of something wrong with YOU. It’s not, and capitalism has gotten us to a point where it’s hard to even get to a place to start building a functional life if you weren’t already at least somewhat financially stable to begin with. It’s horrid to me, and it seems to be horrid to everyone who’s been willing to support you too.