Speaking of performativeness, it’s at this point that I must yet again whip off my hood, arrange my features into a diabolical rictus, and announce that I am, in fact, one of those perfidious vegans. “Lord have mercy!” you gasp, reeling back from the screen and defensively stuffing a handful of pork scratchings into your mouth, while making a sign to avert evil spirits (assuming you’re not also vegan).

Someone should (in a “good-natured ribbing” kind of way!) remind the author that nobody reacts to vegans like this because they’re too waifish to be intimidating 😊