My son is in high school and is going to be an exchange student in Sweden next year.
Our family background is Swedish. His first name is a typical American name, but his middle name is Swedish, and our last name is Swedish.
For example, John Sture Andersson.
Nobody calls him Sture in the US; people can’t pronounce it. But he has been asking Swedish people who he’s met (so far, as part of the exchange program process) to call him Sture.
Is that weird; if he asks people in Sweden to call him Sture, will Swedes make fun of him or think that his request is bizarre, since he is called John in the US? And is the name “Sture” a nice name?
Thanks.
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The original was posted on /r/sweden by /u/CraftAccomplished784 at 2024-03-27 13:08:14+00:00.
CSharpDev_ at 2024-03-27 13:18:22+00:00 ID:
kwskuiiFirst of all, I am not sure what a nice name entails, it’s just a name. But to someone like me who is born in the 90’s I’d assume a person with the name Sture is 60+.
He can be called whatever he wants. Most people wouldn’t bat an eye if he introduces himself as Sture even though his legal name is John Sture Andersson. Many Swedes have a middle name that serves as their “first” name if you will. In Swedish we call it “Tilltalsnamn” e.g. “The name you are called by other people”. I’d be more concerned if he’d be able to consistently answer to the name Sture if he spent all his life being called John(which is also a common name here because of the biblical influence on Sweden).
Swedes in general aren’t as bothered with the whole American idea of being 10% X 45 % Y. We won’t consider you Swedish just because you have Swedish heritage. A Swede is someone who understands our cultural norms, speaks the language, understands the humor and non verbal cues. Not someone who’s grandmothers grandmother grandmother was Swedish. So my only recommendation to your son is to not call himself Swedish. He is American with Swedish heritage.
I hope he enjoys his time here. Tell him to bring a warm jacket that can handle rain and snow as well as proper shoes and he ought to be fine.
TheWhyWhat at 2024-03-27 14:03:31+00:00 ID:
kwsrzxuYep, my first name is my dad’s name, and my actual name is one of my middle names. Causes a lot of confusion at hospitals when a doctor steps into the waiting room and calls my dad’s name.
Gernahaun at 2024-03-27 16:07:36+00:00 ID:
kwtdzcxHiya, buddy! Are you me?
Fapping-sloth at 2024-03-27 16:11:35+00:00 ID:
kwtep8pSame for me!
rbajter at 2024-03-27 15:53:11+00:00 ID:
kwtbd55Folkbokföringen actually records your tilltalsnamn if you have multiple names. But that info is sometimes lost when exported to other systems. I have the same situation with my tilltalsnamn being the second of three names. I believe the names are recorded in alphabetical order.
rabbitlion at 2024-03-27 16:14:13+00:00 ID:
kwtg6zuIt’s supposed to have information about tilltalsnamn, but that information is missing for quite a lot of people. If you have problems with companies using the first name in order even though you go by the second, make sure you actually have set it correctly in the registry.
IdunSigrun at 2024-03-27 16:03:33+00:00 ID:
kwtd98xNo, your parents chose the order of your names. My tilltalsnamn is also my middle name. I asked my parents why and they just said that the order just sounded better.
WrongEggplant6098 at 2024-03-27 16:19:01+00:00 ID:
kwtg24sI asked my parents the same question and got that answer aswell, a little bit confusing :)
rbajter at 2024-03-27 16:07:01+00:00 ID:
kwtdvobCool. Turns out you can change the order if you want:
Clopenny at 2024-03-27 14:42:50+00:00 ID:
kwsyq5iI have the same issue. Will forever damn my parents for that.
Perzec at 2024-03-27 14:50:08+00:00 ID:
kwt00sjI’ve had another interesting experience; my first name is also what I’m called. But once in a hospital they tried calling me first by my second name and then third name, before they tried with my first name. I have no idea why.
MillenniumBandit at 2024-03-27 15:01:36+00:00 ID:
kwt22nwIn hospitals and dentist’s office they always call me by my middle name! It’s so weird! I’ve never used my middle name in any context. It’s incidentally my best friend’s name as well, so I never get used to it.
I never understood why.
It might’ve happened at some government branches aswell, like the police and some embassy or consulate. But at the doctor’s, always!
Amiesama at 2024-03-27 16:23:57+00:00 ID:
kwtgz0vThey can note in the journal system what name is to be used. Maybe someone noted that in your journal by mistake?
simenfiber at 2024-03-27 16:12:00+00:00 ID:
kwterzkA friend of mine’s first name is Olav but he goes by his middle name. His father’s middle name is Olav. When he was still living with his parents I called his house and his mother picked up. I asked to speak with Olav and she replied: There’s nobody named Olav here. I excused myself and hung up.
Stoltlallare at 2024-03-27 14:14:54+00:00 ID:
kwstwozYep I do. I got 3 first names. X Y Z but my last name, the Z is my spoken name.
dkbe1983 at 2024-03-27 15:58:18+00:00 ID:
kwtcb4bYes! This sums it up perfectly.
AL3XEM at 2024-03-27 15:30:30+00:00 ID:
kwt7801Id say in Sweden we say Johan tho and not John.
mackan072 at 2024-03-27 15:38:23+00:00 ID:
kwt8nasJohn är väl ändå ett väldigt vanligt namn? Och om något skulle väl ersättningsnamnet vara Johannes, inte “Johan”?
Obligatorium1 at 2024-03-27 14:19:13+00:00 ID:
kwsumzeI’d like to note that this isn’t really a standardised opinion that everyone can be expected to share. There are unfortunately plenty of people who will demand “Swedish blood” to consider someone a Swede, and personally I don’t care at all about cultural norms, language or whatever. To me, someone is a Swede if they live in Sweden, have previously lived in Sweden for a significant portion of their life, or have Swedish citizenship. Beyond that, they can exclusively speak Swahili for all I care.
Jacc3 at 2024-03-27 14:38:26+00:00 ID:
kwsxya7Basically nobody would demand “Swedish blood”. The question is rather if you need to adhere to Swedish cultural norms to be considered Swedish, or if a citizenship is enough.
Obligatorium1 at 2024-03-27 16:11:55+00:00 ID:
kwterf1Wouldn’t it be grand if that were true?
Sure, that’s what you think. Others will disagree. As stated, to me questions of culture and heritage are irrelevant - and citizenship isn’t a requirement. To me, it’s a question of residence and personal history (i.e. it doesn’t matter where your ancestors lived, but where you lived).
bobbylaserbones at 2024-03-27 14:45:37+00:00 ID:
kwsz82aNo, in Sweden nobody is gonna consider a yank swedish cos his great grandma went on a boat ride to the corn colony in the 1800s.
We aren’t fixated with genetics and color like yanks.
Lol nobody gonna demand “swedish blood”, gtfo here with that yankoid nazi shit, SÄPO will probably register your opinion if you express that one.
Obligatorium1 at 2024-03-27 16:10:17+00:00 ID:
kwtegofGo ahead and read a random thread at Flashback, or why not even a random post in Sweddit about muslims or whatever (at least before the moderators get there and clean it up), and you’ll find plenty of people who talk about Swedish blood and other “yankoid nazi shit” (incidentally, “yankoid” sounds like some pretty nazi shit to me).
bobbylaserbones at 2024-03-27 16:12:20+00:00 ID:
kwteu4hYeah cos some random Nazi on an internet forum is a good indication of the opinion of the general masses 😂
Yankee isn’t a race, sir.
Obligatorium1 at 2024-03-27 16:20:14+00:00 ID:
kwtga5i… But my argument is that there is no such thing as an “opinion of the general masses” in this issue, because it’s a politically divisive issue.
I agree - because the entire concept of race as applied to humanity is pseudoscientific poppycock. “Yankoid” still sounds like some pretty nazi shit to me, though.
bobbylaserbones at 2024-03-27 16:22:43+00:00 ID:
kwtgqtqWhen they stop bombing the rest of us and drag us into their wars for profit I’ll stop insulting then
granistuta at 2024-03-27 15:29:56+00:00 ID:
kwt74e7Du får nog ta och läsa /u/Obligatorium1 kommentar en gång till,
ingenstans står det att det var hens åsikter, utan att det finns de som hyser dessa åsikter. Och det stämmer ju, även om det kanske inte är “plenty”.
bobbylaserbones at 2024-03-27 15:32:45+00:00 ID:
kwt7mj1Och jag försöker förklara för honom att bara nazister skulle tänka så och de är säkert registrerade av Säpo.
Du får nog läsa Bobby laserbens kommentar igen ;)
Det finns folk som tycker alla utlänningar ska utvisas ur Sverige men de representerar förmodligen en väldigt liten minoritet som knappt är värd att nämna.
granistuta at 2024-03-27 15:38:56+00:00 ID:
kwt8qyaFair enough :)
GSPM18 at 2024-03-27 14:33:50+00:00 ID:
kwsx5kcIf an American exchange student who’s never lived in Sweden and doesn’t speak Swedish calls himself Swedish, people will find him weird.
Additional_Onion2784 at 2024-03-27 15:13:38+00:00 ID:
kwt47cfDo you understand that not all people consider being Swedish the highest honor imaginable? Quite a lot of people of the kind you describe don’t consider themselves Swedish at all, and are perfectly happy being whatever nationality they are.
Obligatorium1 at 2024-03-27 16:08:52+00:00 ID:
kwte7icSure, but we weren’t talking about people’s personal identities, but rather how others will define them. If you live in Sweden, I will consider you a Swede. Some will require you to have a Swedish heritage. Others will require you to adhere to some nebulous “Swedish culture”, whatever that is. Your personal identity is an entirely different matter, because no one can decide that but you.
Pick a leg to stand on. Should we consider what people define themselves as, or is there an objective nationality that you either belong to or don’t, regardless of what anyone thinks abou it? Because by saying they are happy “being whatever nationality they are”, you are defining them as unequivocally one specific nationality - regardless of their identity, or how others perceive them.
henfodi at 2024-03-27 14:37:38+00:00 ID:
kwsxtadWhat is the point of the distinction then? Why not call everyone Swedish if it fills no practical purpose? I think the cultural distinction is the only useful one.
My girlfriends best friend is adopted from Rwanda, she is as Swedish as you can be (in response to the line about Swedish blood, whatever that means).
But calling someone who “just” lives here Swedish fills no purpose. Like you get no information that is not conveyed by just saying “lives in Sweden”. Being something is about identity, not location.
bobbylaserbones at 2024-03-27 14:46:55+00:00 ID:
kwszgd6Lol if you have a swedish passport you’re of course swedish, don’t be silly.
henfodi at 2024-03-27 14:54:21+00:00 ID:
kwt0rsbHaving a Swedish passport is a pretty big reduction from what the comment above me described.
Also there is a discussion to be had in wheather Swedes should get Swedish passports or if you become a Swede from getting the passport. I tend towards the former as I see no reason to introduce people who have no interest in being part of the cultural sphere to the citizenry. There are many opinions about this however. If my friend who lives in Switzerland gets a child there who is raised Swiss I see no practical reason to call them Swedish even though they probably would be entited to Swedish citizenship.
I think fundamentally you have to chose to be part of the culture. That is however my opinion.
bobbylaserbones at 2024-03-27 14:59:55+00:00 ID:
kwt1rwjIf you live in sweden you’re gonna have some form of residence or citizenship is what I meant.
Why would you call a Swiss person swedish? That’s something a yank would do
henfodi at 2024-03-27 15:07:13+00:00 ID:
kwt32a8I disagree with the passport (or another administrative document) “making” anyone anything but that is again a matter of opinion.
Like if a person has perfect cultural and linguistic understanding but no documents is more Swedish than the description the commenter above described who just speaks Swahili but has a passport.
bobbylaserbones at 2024-03-27 15:37:36+00:00 ID:
kwt8i6hNo, a yank who likes meatballs and “feels connected” to Sweden is not more swedish than Somali Momo and his swedish passport. He is just a distant descendant of swedes. If momo has swedish citizenship his passport will say “Swede”, regardless of Yankee feelings about genealogy.
If momo flies home to Somalia, and they ask where he lives, he says Stockholm, is he not then a Stockholmer? And if he resides in Sweden isn’t he swedish.
Precioustooth at 2024-03-27 14:57:07+00:00 ID:
kwt19roWhat if you have double citizenship and only have it for convenience? Not really disagreeing per se, but it should at least be required that you identify as “Swedish”. You may be Polish and move here at 50, then after five years become a citizen while identifying entirely as Polish. That’s not “being Swedish” to me
Obligatorium1 at 2024-03-27 16:16:11+00:00 ID:
kwtfjd8Why can’t you be both Swedish and Polish at the same time?
I think it’s much more reasonable to separate personal identity from outside perception. No one but you get to decide your own personal identity, and you can pick that at random if that’s what you want. It just doesn’t mean other people have to view you the same way as you view yourself.
Precioustooth at 2024-03-27 16:25:00+00:00 ID:
kwth5ziHe can be, but only if he considers himself to be that way. The basic requirements for group membership should at least be:
I will never be Swedish if I don’t see myself that way nor will I be if people that are Swedish don’t consider me to be. I would also not be an African-American simply because I choose to see myself that way because people that are actually African-American would never view me as a group member. Of course it’s arbitrary when you “get” to belong to a certain group but there is some degree of requirement
Precioustooth at 2024-03-27 14:55:10+00:00 ID:
kwt0x2pI’m a Dane who lives here currently and please please PLEASE do not consider me Swedish
SuspiciousBoat at 2024-03-27 15:03:56+00:00 ID:
kwt2hj2Oh we’d rather die before calling a Dane Swedish
Precioustooth at 2024-03-27 15:09:14+00:00 ID:
kwt3f3vThank you, I appreciate that!
Obligatorium1 at 2024-03-27 16:14:23+00:00 ID:
kwtf7gpSorry, I will consider you Swedish (and probably Danish too, since it sounds like you spent a lot of your life in Denmark and possibly have a Danish citizenship). That doesn’t mean you have to do it as well, though. You can consider yourself a Dane, a Great Dane or an Oompa Loompa if you want - I have no stake in that.
Precioustooth at 2024-03-27 16:27:15+00:00 ID:
kwthlatBut I don’t see myself as Swedish, thus I cannot be a part of this identity (is what I argue anyway). Doesn’t mean I have anything at all against Sweden or Swedish people, don’t get me wrong… If Jehova’s Witnesses view me as a member of their cult for whatever reason it doesn’t mean that I become a part of that identity just on that basis.
notyoursocialworker at 2024-03-27 14:34:15+00:00 ID:
kwsx80yKnow a 13 year old called Svante. These kinds of names are making a comeback.
buybreadinBrussel at 2024-03-27 15:30:27+00:00 ID:
kwt77p5I met a kid, around 13, named Tage. Awesome names and im glad they are getting a comeback.
partypangolins at 2024-03-27 16:17:42+00:00 ID:
kwtfte5I’m an immigrant, so the name has no history for me, but I think Svante sound really cool. Glad it’s (apparently) back in the cycle of names.
doctormirabilis at 2024-03-27 14:51:25+00:00 ID:
kwt091ikids being named after their grandparents. been going on for a while.
Godmodex2 at 2024-03-27 14:56:46+00:00 ID:
kwt17goGoing on for a while is a bit of an understatement
amanset at 2024-03-27 15:05:43+00:00 ID:
kwt2sqjIt is a fundamental issue with how Americans use words like ‘Swedish’. I posted a while back in r/AmericaBad trying to explain it to them as they moaned yet again about Europeans not accepting them.
Americans use ‘I’m Swedish’ to refer to ethnicity, Europeans to refer to nationality. Both forms are valid in the areas where they come from as that is how the words are used there. The issue is when speaking to someone who uses the word differently. Each of them using it in what is a completely valid way where they come from causes issues.
I swear none of them got what I was on about.
Irrethegreat at 2024-03-27 16:54:05+00:00 ID:
kwtmjiqI get confused because swedish is not an ethnicity as comparable to african american for instance. That would rather be scandinavian. So if we are not talking about the language swedish, or an actual swedish person, the term swedish sure gets confusing.
But it is also understandable. I get annoyed that I can´t say ‘fika’ about eating an inbetween meal (sandwishes and fruit, sometimes yoghurt or porridge, stuff like that). To me, ‘fika’ applies to a wide range of meals with the common thing is that it is not a classical proper complete meal such as dinner or lunch traditionally is. I mean, a sandwich can be eaten like a meal but it´s still not the same IMO… Besides as a side dish of course. But during a ‘fika’ you sit down and eat/drink, usually more than one thing including the beverage if it is other than water, but not as many total ingredients/sides/total nutrition as one would normally have in a meal. So the exceptions would be if you clearly have just one snack on the go or in front of the TV, or just one cup of coffee in the break room without anything more. But where I live now they think ‘mellis’ (which for me is more like ‘snacks’) and ‘fika’ are different. No bun or cake, no fika lol. So if I say ‘fika’ the kids at work think they are getting cake rather than sandwishes. Every single time. Poor things lol. Because it is not ‘mellis’ to me, it’s ‘eftermiddagsfika’.
seezed at 2024-03-27 16:57:44+00:00 ID:
kwtn8g8This is my exact experience. The same question can have different meanings in different cultures. Which apparently is hard to understand.
I’m Second generation immigrant in Sweden, Iranian parents. If an American asks me I always said Iranian. When back home in Europe I’ll just say Swedish - might add later with Iranian parents depending on context.
Spirited-Relief-9369 at 2024-03-27 15:56:30+00:00 ID:
kwtbzbvNever thought about it, but yeah, that makes sense.
Tricky_Potatoe at 2024-03-27 14:46:51+00:00 ID:
kwszfxaBy your definition, half our population isn’t Swedish, you absolute clown.
CraftAccomplished784 (OP) at 2024-03-27 13:24:14+00:00 ID:
kwslq8hTack
CSharpDev_ at 2024-03-27 13:43:25+00:00 ID:
kwsoph0Of course. I hope your son will enjoy his time here and I hope he will feel welcomed and no one will be happier than me if he can develop a love for our neck of the woods and in extension feel connected to his heritage. :)
CraftAccomplished784 (OP) at 2024-03-27 13:56:16+00:00 ID:
kwsqssrTack. Vi älskar Sverige!
Rullstolsboken at 2024-03-27 15:21:53+00:00 ID:
kwt5on1Yupp, I have three names two last names and my tilltalsnamn is my second name
CoconutRumble at 2024-03-27 14:54:45+00:00 ID:
kwt0ua2Beautifully laid out!
turquoise_turtle83 at 2024-03-27 14:12:23+00:00 ID:
kwsthaiTotally agree on all of this.
Also, never met anyone named Sture who is below 70 yo. If he wants to blend in as much as possible, he should go with John for sure. But its not a problem if he wants to go with Sture, just be prepared it might raise the occational question.
Poustimou at 2024-03-27 15:12:38+00:00 ID:
kwt40s3Sture was an EXAMPLE…
SwedishTiger at 2024-03-27 15:13:14+00:00 ID:
kwt44mgI’ve met a bunch of children named Sture, it’s getting popular again.