I’m curious about the makeup of this community. Might make a graph later.
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Woman probably. IDK I’m kinda just vibing it out from my brain.
Also this guy
I am also that guy 👀
Right now it’s something like this:
ehem
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That fits snugly into the “???” Category
Cis man.
Most of my friends are queer, so I’m usually the outlier on that regard.
Also I wandered in here from browsing “all” so I’m arguably not in the community at all.
welcome to the party we hope you enjoy your stay :D
Binary trans woman? Binary feels like the closest fit, but at the same time, so much of gender is a construct, and I think I would probably have a different relationship with my gender identity if I was 20 years younger than I am, and grew up with more nuanced representation of gender.
Definitely still figuring that out. All I know for sure is that there is some degree of fem in it.
Even though it makes no sense at all, it does feel like the clock is ticking sometimes. That I need to hurry up and figure it out.
It’s okay and normal to not be 100% sure and to even change your mind entirely later. The important thing is you feel you have the agency to be whatever version of yourself feels right in the moment 💕
Thanks for your kind words!
I, myself am perfectly okay with who I am and my evolving identity (all of us are just Pokémon after all).
There’s this anxiety that stems from never being entirely sure how your environment is going to react that is causing this to be a more personal journey for me. Somehow it feels like having a greater degree of certainty is going to make actually being who I am to the rest of the world a lot easier. Confidence is key I guess.
Having had some bad experiences being open about my feelings definitely doesn’t help either. So until the need to do otherwise arises, I’ll probably just be honest with myself and not entirely with my surroundings.
In the meantime I’m having lots of fun stealthily experimenting with everything not tied to the stereotypical masculine identity. And I’ll continue doing so until I feel the need to make those elements part of my public identity.
That makes sense! I definitely share in your experience of anxiety that comes out of wanting to be open and expressive but also protect yourself. I’m navigating something similar and, well, I don’t have a good answer right now about what to do.
Generally, for people I know, I’ve found that I’m a very good judge of whether or not they will accept/embrace/vibe with my gender expression or be off-put by it and I know that influences the degree to which I mask (which I’m unhappy with, but working on). For people I don’t know—generally they don’t care as they have their own problems to work through, but I live in a socially liberal city so there’s that 😅
Oh yeah thankfully I live in a very safe and tolerant country, so no worries there. Though you have conservative nutjobs everywhere.
The anxiety probably stems more from the thought of being perceived as unpredictable than from the way people might view the identity itself. Which is probably why it feels like I should have it figured out.
Then there’s also the part where the sooner you have it figured out, the longer you get to live as your true self… maybe? How does one definitively crack an egg?
Haha, not sure if it’s possible to definitively anything that can’t be measured empirically. Glad you’re in a safe place ☺️
Yeah, I don’t have the best answers. What do you feel like your living as your true self is missing? Do you feel yourself making progress to that vision? What’s missing?
Pesky lemmings being persistent! :3
Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m missing anything I can’t have by doing things differently. Guess it’s mostly just a Schrödinger’s gender identity situation. I might be happier after socially transitioning. I might be happier after medically transitioning. The only way to know for sure is to experience, and taking the plunge on any of this is scary for multiple reasons.
I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one in this “quantum trans superposition state”, so I guess I’ll just hang around here and read about some of your experiences.
I know for sure that I don’t fit the template for someone born male, and I have known to varying degrees since I was eight years old. I have thought about transitioning before and the idea of it feels more comfortable to me than it probably does for most cis people. It’s just that I’m being careful with decisions that might leave lasting effects (both socially and mentally) until I’m more sure they will make my life better.
Appreciate you taking the time to pick my brain about this stuff!
Trans man
Genderfluid trans enby, i like he/she/they/any.
My body is base model femme but my brain is rather teenage boy.
Toph from Avatar seems to share my gender, lol
Cis hetero.
I tend to just lurk because this isn’t a space for me, but it’s a good way to keep connected to the community outside of my local area, and stay aware of ongoing social changes and such.
This is also me.
dialup noises
Trans femme, leaning towards enby?
I want to see how I feel on HRT but it feels so far away… very much want to move away from my current state before starting to “really” transition.
There’s always going low dose and ramping it up when you leave. Low dose is more gradual and less people will notice as quickly, and you may get some of the mental health benefits from it.
I’d like to but it would very much impact my job and, depending on the next president, put a big ass target on my back (health insurance through gov employment).
DIY maybe? Sounds hard, sorry you’re in that situation
It’s fine tbh, not like male puberty hasn’t already had its way with me. Costs me little to nothing to wait, and this job is being great for experience building. Already made it this far 😜 Plus I’m ALMOST at the 3 year mark, which I’m told can make getting hired for gov jobs easier in the future.
Edit: in the mean time I can lose weight and get a bit more fit, develop good exercise habits, eat healthier, etc.
Way to relatable. Was thinking I’d like to build up some more savings, so I don’t have to worry as much about finances. But thinking maybe I should just try.
Idk
I’ll put you under “???”
Trans femme / A-gender gurl here to assist your data!
cis man
Nonbinary trans femme
Binary trans woman, here 🫡🏳️⚧️
Cisgender heterosexual male.
I care about trans rights even though it doesn’t affect me personally. The same way that I care about abortion rights even though I can’t get pregnant.
Welcome! Ultimately transphobia is a cis problem, so it really helps when cis folks educate themselves and advocate to create change. Thank you!
EDIT: any cis ally looking to learn more, I found the Gender Dysphoria Bible a helpful resource.
