“Whaddayaloookigat?”

“Hi… uh, hi… you were in the bottle? Are you okay? Was that painful, with the smoke?”

“I don’t know, I guess- is there coffee? Let’s get coffee… and bacon… and that forbidden thing…”

Two hours later at a Waffle House in Minnesota

“What was the forbidden thing?”

“Not forbidden anymore apparently, don’t worry about it. So what do you want- make with the wishes. No reincarnation or infinite wishes and if you try to ‘free me’ I’ll kill you immediately.”

“Damn- thanks for the honesty- I was thinking about freeing you actually.”

“No you weren’t… let’s get wasted while you decide on what ironic hell you create for yourself.”

“Are you an alcoholic?”

“Yes.”

“I wish you weren’t an alcoholic.”

“Goddamn good Samaritan wannabe asshole… That totally counts as trying to free me! You know I have to kill you now!”

“No, no, wait- I’m just saying I wish you could drink in moderation, you know- make patrying a hobby not an addiction, but you can still want to drink a lot, but you know your limits and all that.”

“Dude… what is wrong with you? Do you not want a yacht or a harem or something?”

“I just always wanted a Genie to party with. I don’t really even need the wishes. But you know- I don’t want to feel like I’m an enabler so I’m trying to walk a fine line here.”

“Dude… I… can I just go back in the bottle and we can pretend this never happened?”

“I don’t think so. I like my idea. I wish we were friends.”

Whooshing Genie Magic Sounds

“Hi buddy, want to get hammered!?!”

“Hell yeah!”