I just need to vent a little bit and get some feedback from people outside of my friends and family. They love me unconditionally and I know they are never unwilling to listen, but I feel like a broken record lately and really can’t find the motivation or make it better. I’ve really been feeling like an insufferable burden because of my pessimism and cynicism around this topic, so I figure why not unload it on some internet strangers and see what insight I can get from some like-minded people.
I work in big corpo and really really hate it on multiple levels. Everyone around me seems to either be blissfully ignorant or they have found a way to swallow their pride and just exist. I am having a lot of trouble doing that and it makes me feel like an unappreciative shithead. I’m in a good position, in a stable company with a lot of great perks and benefits, but I’m just not happy. I hate the industry, the culture, the work itself, but the people around me have been there for 10+ years, so there must be something I’m missing. Am I wrong for not being able to suck it up and cash my check?
I assume most people are just better at swallowing their pride or don’t really see that they’re in the belly of the Beast. I’ve always hated every job that was ever for a large company. Everything always feels soulless and painted over with a veneer of platitudes.
It was definitely soulless in corporate accounting. Everything seemed pointless. Who really cares if I coded a payable for a few boxes of cleaning rags to “5502001 Shop Expense - Consumables” instead of “5502002 Shop Expense - Supplies”? I certainly didn’t. But the controller did, that soulless drone.
Yeah, I feel like I’m too idealistic to exist in that environment. I see right through the veneer while everyone else stares at it talking about how lucky they are to see it. It’s soul sucking…
I think the move to a big company was a mistake for me and I’m realizing that now.