There are hundreds of lazy low-budget cyberpunk movies that flooded the (direct-to-video) market in the 80s and 90s. Stuff like Crime Zone, Nemesis, or Omega Doom. So what cyberpunk movies can you admit are objectively bad yet still hold a place in your heart?

  • YaksDC
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    2 months ago

    Freejack, with Emilio Estevez, Mick Jagger and Anthony Hopkins.

  • @[email protected]
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    242 months ago

    Johnny Mnemonic. Keanu Reeves. Henry Rollins. Fuckin… a bright orange videocassette with Keanu Reeves but his head is the tape of the movie.

    It’s honestly amazing. And his rant about room service was peak Keanu.

      • SeedyOne
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        102 months ago

        Along with Sneakers (1992), it’s still regarded as one of the most accurate hacking movies ever despite the over the top visuals (which were all practical, no CGI). Most of those social engineering tricks still work.

      • @[email protected]
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        42 months ago

        I genuinely want them to do hackers as a tv series. Keep the actual “hacking” as nonsense but keep the vibe and the counterculture fun.

  • circuitfarmer
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    2 months ago

    Cyborg (1989) is a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie that I would say is technically cyberpunk. It’s bad but also super entertaining.

  • @[email protected]
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    142 months ago

    I’m not sure if Runaway (1984) counts as cyberpunk but I think it could. It’s like the one film I’d actually like to see remade.

    The premise is solid, it follows a police unit dedicated to wrangling or disabling runaway robots as they come to realize that their most recent robotic troublemakers aren’t just running amok from glitches but have been deliberately sabotaged in order to conduct a series of murders.

    I really like that the runaway squad isn’t treated as glamorous work. The closest fit I can think of would be Animal Control. Not something to earn the envy and respect of beat cops, perhaps. I think that does a good job of setting the scope of the film and nicely illustrating that the protagonists are both in over their heads, and still the only ones qualified to unravel this mystery.

    And the film gets a few other things very right - their ‘floaters’ are a downright prescient prediction of modern consumer drones, right down to how they’re used. The digitized records, voice synthesis, and other predictions of the future are pretty solid. I like the gear and precautions they take to mask and insulate themselves. The bad guy’s prototype gun that shoots rounds that chase people is actually a fun concept, might work well as a flavor of tiny suicide drones since it seemed to move at about running pace anyways.

    It’s mostly let down by the setting, sets, and limitations of the props/technology.

    All these predictions of the future where robots are everywhere bounce hard off the boringly 1980s daytime aesthetics and the tiny robots. It’s not trying to be the future, really, or it’s not trying very hard. The robots especially are kind of disappointing. They’re… cute, and Tom Selleck tries really hard to look intimidated by two-foot-tall robots on little roller skate wheels in several tense scenes but there’s only so much he can do.

    I think with some modern cyberpunk aesthetics, some updated understanding of technology, and some more elaborate robot designs/malfunction scenarios, it could be a really good flick. Maybe borrow the creepy android from Megan for the scene where the robot housekeeper has killed its family and the protagonist has to sneak in to save the crying baby before the robot goes after it, and you’d have something really tense. (The current version has Tom Selleck sneaking around a dark house, trying to outsmart a boxy little two foot cube holding a gun).

    I suppose I’ve described a Bad Metal movie. You know, I think I’d like someone to fund that instead please. Or at least finish the books.

      • @[email protected]
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        32 months ago

        I completely did. He did an excellent job chewing on all the scenery. It’s a legit cast - if they’d had some imagination in the sets and a budget for decent props it could have been awesome

    • zib
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      62 months ago

      I highly recommend you check out the extended cut if you haven’t seen it already. If nothing else, it’s worth it just for the Iggy & Spike rap.

      • @[email protected]
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        32 months ago

        Hold up, there’s an extended cut, and there’s a Iggy & Spike rap and I’m just finding out about this now? Thank you kind stranger.

        • zib
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          32 months ago

          Happy to help! It’s on https://archive.org if you’re interested in checking it out. Go search their movie database for “Super Mario Bros: The Morton Jankel Cut”.

          • @[email protected]
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            21 month ago

            Oh man, finally got around to watching it thanks to your recommendation and I was thoroughly entertained. Had a big dumb grin on my face through most of it. Thanks for that!

      • @[email protected]
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        22 months ago

        Happy to, sometimes instead of loading up one of my myriad streaming services and suffering the algorithms telling me what it thinks I want Ill just scroll through that community till I find something.

  • Che Banana
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    102 months ago

    Hardware.

    “Ohhhh we alll walk, the wiggle-y waggl-y walk!”

    • pacoboyd
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      2 months ago

      Yeah, but Bladerunner isn’t a bad cyberpunk movie, in fact it’s pretty much the gold standard.

      That’s like saying whats everyone’s favorites “low key hike” and you say “Mt Everest”

      • @[email protected]
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        42 months ago

        I actually dislike Bladerunner as well. Great atmosphere and music, but didn’t like the plot or characters.

        Bladerunner 2049 was really good tho.

        • @[email protected]
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          2 months ago

          have the same vibes with the sequel. I don’t know, those movies are simply not working for me, but I also never found the shortstory to be that good 🤷‍♂️

      • @[email protected]
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        2 months ago

        quiet subjective isn’t it? I don’t like Bladerunner at all and I mean every version of that movie…

        I’m fine if you like it, but for me it’s one of the worst movies except visuals and music

        • pacoboyd
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          2 months ago

          I mean the Sherpas that lead Everest tours probably don’t think much of it, but for the majority of people, climbing Everest is a big deal.

          Same for Bladerunner. The concensus is: Triumph

          I postulate that you knew this would be controversial and that’s why you posted it.