Undiagnosed dude here, been accused of it my whole life and people I assume that I have it, yadda yadda

But at every point in my life, I’ve lost people because they grew up while I remained childish. And I guess I’m at that point again, I didn’t want something about my personality I can’t change be the reason I lose people who are important to me

Does this make any sense

      • Gaia [She/Her]@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
        5·
        7 months ago

        Babe (I hope that’s okay to use)

        I think that’s one of the autism things

        I do that, and I gotta say it’s not worth the lack of enrichment to keep friends who aren’t at some level here to be excited with me about my special interests.

        It might make sense to mask it in certain situations like with some coworkers, but you’d be doing a disservice to yourself to not surround yourself with supportive friends.

        If it makes you feel better, I’m still working through my shame when it comes to this. I tend to apologize immediately after what I call a “rant” and my loved ones always reassure me that they’re here for it lol

        • stigsbandit34z [they/them]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
          1·
          7 months ago

          It describes exactly why I’ve had trouble keeping people in my life in all forms. A point comes and it’s like “Yup that guy just said something extremely socially innocuous and for that reason alone I’m ending the relationship.”

          It’s why everyone feels so safe online because they can usually dip without worrying about anything. And it’s why I’ll probably always be physically alone because people like the way I write but they don’t like the way I talk (if that makes sense).

          This is why I believe dating apps will never work for me

          • Gaia [She/Her]@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
            2·
            7 months ago

            I feel like I get this to a degree that makes me uncomfortable. When I tried dating apps, I found that the interactions were so hollow that I never felt like I could be in a relationship with that person.

            This is not necessarily advice because I know how hard it can be when it comes to selecting your partner but both of my partners are trans autistic women and that has made a world of a difference.

            Sometimes the better option is accepting that some neurotypical people have to work twice as hard to accommodate for some of us, and that’s something that is going to make the relationship feel lopsided imo

            Maybe I just am too self conscious tho