Lately I have been trying to get myself to go out more often. I have been going to a few meetup groups with other people in my city to try to get myself to socialize a bit more, because I have a really hard time with it. They have all gone fine and I have had a good time, but something that I have noticed is that nearly everyone, at least in these situations, just want to talk about their job. Many of them would literately not talk about anything else at all. I’ll even attempt to try to talk about something else, but the conversation always goes back to them talking about their job. I’m fine with telling people about what I do for work and what not, but I swear nearly everyone at these meetups just wanted to talk about their job. Personally, the last thing I want to talk about in a casual conversation is talk about my job, but it seems like the complete opposite for everyone else. The organizer of one of these meetups even asked people to try to talk about things not work work related and people still did anyways. There were several people even networking one one of these meetups, even when they were told not to?
It’s not that I don’t want people to talk about their jobs, especially if they enjoy it. I just feel like my work isn’t interesting at all, so I don’t have a lot to say about it to other people. I don’t know if talking about your job is just a common thing for other people my age and I am just stubborn about it cause Autism and what not, or if I am actually frustrated that I have a hard time adding to those conversations. It makes me feel really dumb when other people are having these conversations and I have no idea what to say, and feeling like I can’t connect with anyone at all. It happened so much at the last meetup that I almost felt too stupid to talk to other people and just sat around a lot trying to find someone not talking about their job. Is this just a normal thing for most people that I need to get used to?
Most conversations generally fall into four categories:
Work
Kids
The last vacation you had
The last good meal you had.
If you don’t have kids, like me, or if you don’t go on vacation, it’s very limiting. You can sub out vacation for whatever interesting thing you’ve done recently. I’d say keep the job talk mostly to a minimum, unless the person You’re talking to is in the same line of work. People love to commiserate about bad jobs or bosses. I feel like there’s a line though. People don’t really want to hear other people talk about something they can’t relate to, and complaining about work/coworkers too much can come off as negative.
The real answer is don’t overthink it. I am also very socially awkward and I find if I just force myself to act like people expect, the ice gets broken, and I can let my guard down.
Today, I got thrown into a situation at work where I had to explain an aspect of a job to a new person who I hadn’t even been introduced to. I just started doing the task, then when I couldn’t bear the weight of the awkwardness of having not yet introduced myself but giving direction, I just got it over with. Our next interaction went fine.
Actually, two new people started today and the other one is very outgoing. He just kind of let me hop in on a conversation without a formal introduction, and that went well.
It’s weird, because I’m so awkward in my head, but I’m generally well liked. I’m polite, and I don’t dominate conversations, and can usually come up with something interesting or something in common with just about anyone.