• bitwaba@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Ive seen about 5 open marriage relationships first hand as part of my social circle, and maybe another 10 open dating relationships in the same expanded social circle. All hetero relationships, and I’d say slightly more than half of them were initiate by the woman. All “progressive” / non-religious poly.

    This has been about a 15 year period, and every single one of those relationships at this point is over, or on deaths door.

    My closest friend at one point was one of those, and I watched him slowly get more and more depressed over 6-8 months before opening up to me about it. He was critical of me passing judgement on poly relationships until I told him “OTHER people are capable of poly relationships. YOU are not.” And that’s really my only criticism to poly stuff. It is possible to be two well adjusted people participating in a long term mutually consensual polyamorus relationship. But those are about as common as rolling a natural 20 in the sample set of poly relationships. The rest are just headed for the garbage and at least one person in the relationship already knows it.

    Real Polyamorus deserve marriage equality and to love the way they want. Most of the others are just virtue signaling and wearing it like a fashion statement, which is why they get made fun of.