After two users admitted to doxxing me, and another admitted to digging through all of my past posts and comments, I decided to deleted my past posts. One user put my name, and my husband’s name into a comment box on one of my posts, and then tried to claim he hadn’t doxxed me for that information.
Another user decided to stalk my page, and then followed me to a post about my cat, where he proceeded to tell me I needed mental help for all of my other posts and comments. I called him out for stalking my page and digging through all of my past posts and comments in order to tell me that. I think stalkers need mental help, and a Lemmy user named Steak is totally a stalker. So to prevent people like that from digging through all of my past comments and posts, I have decided to delete many of them. Stalking is a mental illness, and many Lemmy readers don’t want to admit that. I hope readers like him seek mental help. There isn’t something wrong with searching for a missing spouse. There is something wrong with stalking and doxing a woman you’ve never met.
Information posted publicly on a public site is… public, anyone can see and use it.
Always keep that in mind
I didn’t post my name and my husband’s name. I also didn’t post our court documents. Some Lemmy reader did some internet digging and doxxing to find our names and personal information, and proceeded to publish it in goodoffmychest. He broke the rules. It wasn’t something I had posted on this site. I think you misunderstood my post.
Hey so you obviously have some issues to sort through, so I’m going to respond this once to clear the record, then go back to be blissfully unaware of your existence. You literally did post your name, you shared a PayPal fundraiser begging for money, and that had your name and location in it. Like literally, saying you didn’t post your name is completely wrong.
You stalked my profile to find that PayPal link, which didn’t have my name displayed, unless you followed my link. I wasn’t begging for money, I simply stated that my cat had major medical bills and that if people wanted to help, it would be appreciated. Last month was financially tough with non-typical expenses, but veterinary bills made it more difficult. You didn’t just see my name on a PayPal link. You used my name to research personal information about me and my family.
Your name is displayed on your PayPal link, which is linked from post you made (post not a comment). https://lemmy.world/post/14540822
You are sharing all your personal information on Lemmy. Photos, names, locations, tests, court cases, etc.
Photos are dangerous because they can include geographic tagging. They can be reverse image searched to find the photo on other platforms. The faces in the photos can be searched to find their names and social media profiles.
Documents, court, tests, are dangerous because they have identifiers that can be looked up to identify you.
Fundraising will almost always identify you, because money gets tied to your identity at some point, it just needs someone persistent to follow the money, but giving out your personal PayPal link makes this trivial.
Talking about locations, and specific events, gives away your location and timing of being in that location.
Talking about court cases and any uniqueness of court cases, makes it easy to search for you on court database systems.
Anything you post on the internet, is there forever, including Lemmy. Especially lemmy. By its distributed and federated nature, even if you delete a post it has gone out to all of the instances, and the deletion is just a database table entry. 1,000 Lemmy instances have copies of all of your posts. Don’t put anything on the internet, but especially Lemmy, that you don’t want to be made public.
Your nature of debate, and your conception of reality, are really interesting to people. And they are incentivized to look up your information, to prove you wrong. When you talk about court cases, when you talk about timelines on filing, when you talk about missing persons, these are the things people on the internet like to look up and satisfy themselves. You create many situations where people go oh that can’t be right, and they naturally want to look it up and see if they were right or you’re crazy. Sometimes they want to share their findings.
As an example, you said your divorce proceedings were dismissed because the respondent didn’t show up to court. That’s not something United States courts do. So curious person, would use the information you’ve posted, and look up your court case, and see if it was actually dismissed like you said it was, or if there was some confusion in the court decision and your perception. I bring this up, because a lot of your posts are about your personal history, and then you want to debate people about what happened, citing that you’re lived experience differs from what people expect. That’s genuinely going to make people want to look it up. It’s baiting people to research you. Intentional or not. Most people here, the vast majority, don’t have an interest in you as a person. But they do have an interest in being right. So in many of your conversations, a debate happens, and you’re telling people they’re wrong, and they really really want to be right. So that’s when the research happens
I provide this data with no malice, I am just trying to make you aware of the data you’re leaking, you’re posting habits and encouraging people to look things up about you.
I am not going to condone any doxxing behavior, but you definitely made it very easy for these people giving them information that, if they didn’t have, would have probably made it impossible to figure out. So while their behavior isn’t right, I think like others mention in this thread, you have to be very careful with the information you divulge online. Be careful out there.
I didn’t give the person my name to dox.
I didn’t say you did. I said you gave them enough information. Like how unique your names are, etc. I was trying to be subtle and not point out those things.
Nobody deserves to be stalked or doxxed, and anybody doing that is in the wrong.
As a separate point, just from what I can see on your profile now, you have put a remarkable amount of identifying information in your Lemmy posts. I’m pretty cavalier about the possibility of someone connecting my account to my identity, but you are orders of magnitude beyond anything I would feel personally comfortable posting. I seriously believe you can protect yourself from these things if you modify your posting habits.
For example, you have photos of your face posted, high school photos that could be shared on other people’s social media, current photos of your head and identifying features, pictures of bills that identify local businesses you use (you didn’t black everything out successfully)…that was just what I noticed in about 10 seconds of glancing. With reverse image searches, it would be trivial to find some of those photos on a classmates Facebook where you have been tagged with your real name.
As a general rule, never post personal media to Lemmy that you intend to post somewhere else (or that someone else may post who can identify you). Once a photo appears in two places, it becomes a lot easier to start connecting dots.
You mean a picture of me where I am in a group of other people? I didn’t say which person I am in that photo.
Your comments can still be seen, even if the posts cannot.
And deleting them off your home instance does not mean they are necessarily deleted on others.
Hi, I’ll assist. Let me look into this.
deleted by creator
This person seems to have invaded your privacy, but the snippets of their comments make it seem like they were (at least originally) well intentioned and trying to find information about your husband and legal situation. They told you how easily they found information on you and exactly how they did it—this furthers my point that you can avoid this type of thing by modifying your own posting habits.
In my opinion, from the limited evidence in this screenshot, the other person needs a warning and you need a crash course in basic online safety.
Again, just to be clear, anybody who doxxes or stalks someone is in the wrong and should be held accountable. Likewise, we should all be accountable for our safety and privacy online also.
Actually, my name and photos of me are online for work related purposes and anyone can see those if they already know my name and profession. It isn’t against online safety for those items to be on public websites. It’s 2024, not the 90’s. I don’t think I need a crash course in online safety. I think people on Lemmy need to follow the rules. If you really want to advocate for online safety, why don’t you discuss how you signed up for Lemmy knowing your IP address would be visible to a bunch of strangers, with no required qualifications or background checks needed to operate and manage the Lemmy site. Do you need a crash course in internet safety? Should we argue everyone should just not have internet? Phones can be tracked really easily. Should everyone give up their phone?
That screenshot is also doxxing yourself and should be removed.
No, it really isn’t. My name is blocked out on it. I don’t need to ask myself for permission to screenshot my own inbox. That’s the beauty of being only one person. I don’t need to ask anyone for permission with regard to what I do with my own account.
No, I’m telling you that screenshot contains enough information to identify your name.
The URL contains what I assume is your husband’s name and what is likely the court case number…
Blocking your name here is insufficient and identifying you from there is a 1 second affair.I personally don’t care about identifying you, but this screenshot is enough for anyone to do so. (Again)
Ah, I see that now. Thank you. For those wondering where my comment went, here is the comment with everything blocked.
