Often when I start feeling guilty for putting off a task (even if I genuinely didn’t have time), the guilt makes it harder for me to get back to it. It’s an additional emotion that I have to barge through in order to get started.
What if the person is annoyed with me for still not having replied? What if they’ve followed up with a strongly worded email that I’m now going to have to suffer through? And I’m going to have to come up with an excuse for taking so long. This would have been so much easier if I’d done it yesterday.
The guilt increases exponentially. How do you dispel it so that it’s not in the way of actually getting to the task?
(Alcohol and sleep deprivation does not count)
I agree with [email protected] that when dealing with people, you acknowledge the delay with a simple apology, and move on to addressing their issue. People can easily smell bullshit, and in that, they would lose respect for you for trying to “outsmart” them. So keep it super simple, and honest.
As for putting off tasks, I keep a note on my phone that lists everything I need to do. It’ll never be an empty list. It’ll grow and shrink over time. While I call it “Due Today”, I don’t actually put any priority on things, but they are things I should be able to do during a day.
It helps me get things out of my head, and takes the pressure off by acknowledging that there are things that need to be done, and won’t be forgotten. And when I do start ticking items off, it feels really good (yay dopamine).
If something is truly important, I add it either to my calendar (if it’s at a much later date) or my reminders (flagged high priority). Or, I force myself to do it immediately (if it’s not too overwhelming).
It’s not perfect, and neither am I. As long as I keep busy doing stuff, I feel fine. But like you, I do get guilt/anxiety when I stop to take a break or do nothing for more than a minute or two. This is where breathing exercises come in.
Nothing fancy. As the song goes, “breathe in, breathe out…” Long, slow breaths in; hold for a few seconds; long, even slower breathes out; pause and be mindful on how i and my body feels in that moment; rinse and repeat a few times. If you’re tense, relax those muscles for a moment.