i don’t really notice much from energy drinks. but i take caffeine pills if i got very little sleep and i guess that helps

That’s an indication that you may have ADHD.

i’m diagnosed with clinical/major depression from when i was 15. still there i guess but not as bad now? i used to be on meds but i feel like they didn’t do shit but make me an emotionless robot

Okay, so it’s important to recognise that the symptoms of depression and ADHD can mimic one another. I’m not going to try to convince you either way on this, not would I try to diagnose you if I were qualified to, I’m just going to throw info out there to help you have a better understanding of your own situation.

what makes me think i might have adhd as well:

• even pre-depression i’d procrastinate bad, i’m terrible at starting tasks i don’t want to do. from a very young age i’ve been awful at doing homework despite doing very good in school otherwise, for most of elementary school i didn’t even brush my teeth

This is going to sound odd and you don’t need to answer this but - do you enjoy putting off tasks? A person who is lazy enjoys putting things off. A person who struggles with motivation wants to do things but is unable to get started, and they generally feel very stuck and very uncomfortable not being able to do what they want to do.

How are you with finishing up tasks? Do you often find yourself nearing the completion of a task, even something like playing a game through to the end, and you lose all motivation so you tend to have a lot of things that are left abandoned at 90% completion?

The typical ADHD experience is that, when the task is near completion, suddenly all your will to get to the finish line just drains away to nothing.

This is distinct from being exhausted and pushing yourself to finish but not quite getting there, and it’s particularly noticeable with tasks that are independent of external demands - at work or studying there’s a lot of external expectation for you to finish the task so you will probably get there. Outside of that, in your personal life, without those external forces you will likely notice this is a pattern for you if you have ADHD.

• bad at paying attention to things that don’t interest me, fixate too much time on specific things e.g. an internet rabbithole

Do you lose all sense of time when you’re down a rabbit hole?

What was your ability to pay attention to boring things like prior to being depressed?

When you say bad at paying attention, are we talking like you mind wanders a bit and you have to put in effort to pay attention or are we talking like trying to pay attention to a boring topic makes you feel like crawling out of your skin, like it’s almost physically unbearable, or being on a 10-second countdown before you’re staring out of the window with unfocused vision until someone starts clicking their fingers in front of your face multiple times before you snap back to reality?

sorry if this is long, not sure how much of these are genuine symptoms just things that seem ND that i experience.

Just a bit of info: neurodivergent refers to people who have atypical neurology. This includes all the different forms of mental illness. I think it’s an extremely common misconception that ND just means “autistic and/or ADHD” but that’s really not the case.