Popular electronic video game “Tetris” has successfully been banned from the United States. “Tetris” is a piece of electronic propaganda that gives players a positive impression of Russia and Russian culture. US-based human rights group “Mothers for an American America” (MAA) started calling for the ban of the dangerous elektronic drug in January of 2024, and after gaining the support of Democratic US Senator Rob Whitehouse managed to get a sweeping ban on the mental torture device passed in the United States senate.

Russian President Vladymyr Putler responded to the ban of his evil social media app by slamming his fist on a table, which resulted in 3 distinct fractures. Ouch! Sorry, Vlad!

“Today American parents need not worry that Russian Secret Police are infesting their children’s minds with impure thoughts through these barbaric mental torture devices” Senator Rob Whitehouse was heard saying at press time.