Sometimes people I just met (in a platonic context) will ask me things like “hey, what’s your Instagram, let’s keep in touch!”
My standard answer is that I don’t do social media, but I have found that people take it as bragging perhaps? I get answers like “oh, good for you! I wish I didn’t” or whatever.
If I say oh here’s my number that seems too odd these days, people not that much younger than me (I’m 31) don’t seem to text anymore. They use fb messenger or Instagram or others.
Also saying something like “I’m a privacy advocate and I use the fediverse” is also an odd thing to say unless I’m around techy people and even then it’s weird tbh.
How do I approach this? I don’t think I am better than people that use social media, its just not for me. I would prefer to text but I am not sure that works for a lot of people.
Or should I just bite the bullet and get an Instagram so that I don’t seem weird, and then perhaps ask for further contact details via that platform?
Abstaining from social media can be extremely alienating.
autistic btw if you couldn’t tell lmao, I have spent a lot of time thinking about this problem
Saying “I don’t do social media” isn’t bragging. It might make people interrogate their own habits, which can provoke a negative reaction, but that’s on them and any response would do that, so there is nothing to be done about it. Either way it’s not bragging. Say it in a light tone/with a smile so people know it’s just meant as a nice thing. Consider providing an alternative, which will also soften the blow, because it makes it clear that you just dont do social media.
Do not worry about seeming “old”. It’s quaint and also something you can joke about, which makes for a good conversation. Consider providing your alternative (if it’s a phone number) alongside a recognition that it is atypical/old-fashioned, to get ahead of the perception you’re afraid of - It lets you control the narrative. It can also help with your worries about wether or not you’re being perceived as “old” because you yourself bring it up.
Don’t talk about privacy or opsec unless people ask into it, and keep it surface level and let people themselves ask more questions.
Edit: let me know if you want a tone indicator or have any clarifying questions