• Snowclone@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    It means involuntarily celibate, it’s a very loose term, it can refer to some slightly organized groups, but mostly it is used informally. One of the big problems with it, is a lot of young guys get sucked into this bullshit because they expected a sexual relationship to happen sooner.

    • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Yeah that is kinda fucked then. So like a shit ton of people have this label attached to them for not getting laid and the media makes them out to be some kind of sexually frustrated freddy kruger. Talk about punching down.

      • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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        5 months ago

        The “incel community” in the article is made up of men who have labeled themselves, as a way of blaming women for not giving them the sex they feel they “deserve,” instead of making any real effort to connect with women as people. They come off as creepy because they are power-hungry creeps.

      • Snowclone@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        It’s entirely self identified, you are not an incel because you’re a 19 year old virgin, no one is going to call you an incel, but if you get sucked into one of these groups and start thinking of yourself this way, you’re doing a lot of harm to yourself. There’s a lot of men who didn’t lose their virginity into their 20s, it wasn’t because they were forced to be virgins against their will, it just takes time, effort, and self care to attract a partner, if you want a partner rather than an encounter, which plenty of men want a partner, it takes some time to get there.

        Again, it’s a self identified thing, people might use it as an insult at someone, but no one is an incel until they personally decide that’s what’s happening in their life. And they’re usually wrong, no guy under 30 is capable of being an incel in my opinion.

        At least with Mgtow (a different men’s group called ‘men going their own way’) if you show up in their spaces and you’re under 30 and not divorced or married, they will tell you you’re in the wrong place, you shouldn’t be there, and that community isn’t related to anything you’re going through.