Still looking for a good word describing that strange mental state you’ll find yourself in when you know how to mask almost perfectly, but just learned that you can’t keep that up any longer, because that was the thing that almost crushed you.
Still looking for a good word describing that strange mental state you’ll find yourself in when you know how to mask almost perfectly, but just learned that you can’t keep that up any longer, because that was the thing that almost crushed you.
Tell me about it. After I got my ADHD diagnosis my psychiatrist referred me to a autism specialist as he suspected traits etc… Eventually get to the appointment and the specialist basically tells me, “You’re definitely on the spectrum and if I had to present it as an analogy, if your clock is meant to read 3 it reads 9; BUT given how late your diagnosis is and the coping mechanisms you’ve developed, I can’t give you a disorder diagnosis”. I was just like, thank you?
Doesn’t mean I don’t have to work hard on those coping mechanisms. It’s exhausting and frustrating knowing the climb for me is on a greater incline than others. Don’t even get me started on the self loathing that kicks in when I find myself showing symptoms while engaged with other people. They don’t realise it but I’m fucking dying inside every.single.time.
Also, +1 for neurospicy. Takes on a whole different meaning when I put my sub-continental roots into context :D