Hi sissies! I’m a 31yo enby-presenting bi bottom in a town with no gay bars, nightclubs, BDSM events, or regularly-scheduled LGBT groups/meetings. It’s really churchy, but nobody has punched me in the face for crossdressing yet, so it’s tolerant enough by my standards.

In a place like this, how do you find cuties to do gay sex things with? I’m interested in master/slave dynamics, bondage, impact play, anal, cnc, pretty much anything. I just don’t like old bears. Which is a problem because the only bros who seem to be into me are in their 60s, and they don’t even try to look good, they’re pudgy slobs. How do you hack it out in the country?

    • lazyneet@programming.devOP
      3·
      5 months ago

      There is a major city an hour away. Thanks for the list. Any reason you didn’t include Scruff? Fetlife isn’t for dating. Growlr and Barq aren’t for me (not into bears, not a furry). Sniffies and Grindr are hookup sites, so that’s kinda my last resort. I’m on Recon right now but it’s all dead ends.

          • Match!!@pawb.socialEnglish
            2·
            5 months ago

            Pretty good yeah! However I like bears and furries so 🙃

            I guess, what kind of boy are you looking for?

            • lazyneet@programming.devOP
              3·
              5 months ago

              Ideally? A dominant femboy. More broadly, I’m looking for someone about 25-35 who appreciates BDSM dynamics, looks healthy, and doesn’t mind shaving.

              • Match!!@pawb.socialEnglish
                2·
                5 months ago

                1. Any chance that there’s a kink club around the major city? These are often fairly underground and might be hard to find if you’re not already in the local kink scene.

                2. If being a furry isn’t a deal breaker that might be a reasonable approach to find femboys; I don’t know other communities that have a high proportion of femboys [because they’re all goddamn introverts]

                • lazyneet@programming.devOP
                  2·
                  5 months ago
                  1. Yes, there is a fairly well-known fetish club in the city. It would have to be a weekend trip. I’d probably find mostly straight people though. I met a previous (female) partner in a similar way. It was a great relationship, but there was always this feeling that I was more hardcore into kink stuff than she was. I just can’t dial it down for those whose interest is more moderate.
                  2. Femboy psychology is a whole ball of yarn. Do I really want to date anyone who presents effeminate? I’m into it to an extent, but not when it compromises the hard sadomasochism. If those things are opposed to each other (as you say they’re introverts) then I might be an exception. I wish people wouldn’t be such pussies.