A number of my (M26) friends are women. I’m travelling and my parents want me to send them pictures, but I can’t send them a single picture with a girl next to me without her becoming my girlfriend in their eyes.
I do fine for myself too! Actual girlfriends come and go and I tell them when I’m dating someone, and they hardly seem to care.
Kills me dude.
Next time they say something like this, respond with something like “if I’m dating someone, I’ll let you know. If you continue to assume things about my friends, or comment on their appearance, I’m going to stop sending you pictures.”
If you introduce your next girlfriend to them and they don’t seem to care, have an explicit sit-down conversation about it. Tell them how it makes you feel, point out the inconsistency, and tell them you’re going to stop introducing them if their behavior doesn’t change
I’ve tried it and I can’t seem to phrase it politely enough that it doesn’t upset them (and boy can they get upset) but also firmly enough for them to actually listen. Kinda think I’m gonna try blurring my friends’ faces so they can’t tell me how beautiful they are anymore.
Dude, sorry about your parents. I see 3 options here…go no contact, assert boundaries that condition contact on their behavior, or do nothing and let them keep acting like this. There may be other options I don’t see, but it’s important to recognize they’re probably going to act like this for the rest of your life, so it’ll be best to be intentional about how you interact with them. They sound like the kind of people who’d try to interfere/fuck up your relationships if they don’t like who you’re with, and it sounds like they’re going to be really good at finding fault. A therapist could help you unpack all their bullshit and figure out how best to communicate with them