I’ve only used tinder before and the dude I met there ghosted me after he and his partner broke up. My husband has been encouraging me to look again and I’m feeling a bit better about myself lately so I’m debating checking something out and seeing who might be interested. I’m a post op trans woman for reference.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    2 months ago

    No such thing. The services for dating are all bot driven now. People end up paying for a service that simply isn’t as advertised.

    Now, hookup services ala grindr, they can do better at finding real people, but it’s hit or miss about making connections that matter. Last I talked to anyone, adult friend finder is kinda decent, but you still run into it being more about hookups than any mid to long term connections. But, since you describe a pretty open situation with your partner, focusing on something that’s going to be non monogamous friendly like that is likely to be a better choice.

    • CautiousCuriosity@lemmynsfw.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      2 months ago

      I checked AFF and… I’m not sure if I found the proper website or a kick off. You can’t do anything with a free account right?

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        2 months ago

        Mostly, yeah, but it’s like grindr; people can use it to date others with a similar mindset regarding sex. Hell, the bdsm/kink sites/services work the same way.

        My best friend met his husband on grindr, and that’s definitely not a “dating” app lol. The intersection of sex and romance is a busy one :)

  • deluxe@lemmynsfw.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    2 months ago

    Just a reminder that dating apps don’t want you to succeed.

    That would mean you stop using their app.

    Your success and their success are in direct conflict.

  • SmuttyLad@lemmynsfw.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    2 months ago

    As a regular dude I’d also like an answer to this question. Every service I’ve tried so far ends up making me miserable in the long run, which is why I don’t use them anymore.

  • Starb3an@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    2 months ago

    I found Boo. It has more non-standard people on it. I tend to say it has more “weirdos” and, being a weirdo, it has more of what I’m looking for. It also has more friends and not just dating.

  • noughtnaut@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    2 months ago

    From your description of both you and him having spouses, I’d suppose, Feeld would not be the worst to try.

    Having said that: they’re all crap. I don’t know that it was ever any better (at least for people desiring to meet with female presenting matches). I’ve tried a fair number of apps, and some have the features, others have the demographic, and none have both. That’s my experience.

  • SmutPeddler@lemmynsfw.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    2 months ago

    I (cishet man) have used Tinder, Badoo, Bumble, and OkCupid and they all sucked for different reasons and made me feel horrible. Best thing I ever did was stop using them a couple of years ago.