Some explanations regarding myself:
I am happily married. My first relationship I had with 15 till I got 18. We got in contact through a role playing group online and just liked each other. 2011 I bought my first smartphone and after I got 18 few months later, I met my actual wife through a mutual friend. So I I never thought “I need to find someone so badly omg omg” or whatever, it just happened.
Tbh I somehow think and thought that this is the normal way. My parents, grandparents met the the same way. My cousin got his fiance also the same way and and and. Same goes for known Bolsheviks, their children liked each other and got together.
Few years ago I realised Reddit exist and looked for programming and bird groups. But I also found people talking about meeting people and dating.
First thing: Dating apps and this swiping stuff. It is pretty sus and I can’t imagine this works. It is like looking for a new car. Humans are not cars. I saw screenshots, where people mention their political views, what they like or not like. This has to be some joke, I don’t know. Not everyone is good in describing themself.
Second: People talked about is: height. I saw some screenshots from people complaining about this. I thought to myself, that this is probably some weird US shit again, buuuut now I hear about this here too.
This isn’t real isn’t? Or at least not that common? Something about, that you have to be at least 6 freedom units tall, or 7,8,9 idk. However 5 with something is to small and than you have stupid ass people called incels, which wants to kill women or perform plastic surgery on themself.
I mean, being small is annoying because there are spots I can’t reach easily. Wife is smaller than me, she has to ask me. A female friend we have is over 180cm tall and she is lucky to be easy reach anything. On the other hand: Do you know how upper arm circumference over 40cm looks on someone who is 174cm tall? Absolute great. When you are 190cm tall, its more meh. But srsly, this all are minor things. It has the same relevance like if you like apples or pears more.
For myself it looks like I am experiencing a new kind of thinking or culture whatever. This is a western thing probably idk.
Bebel wrote a great book called Woman and Socialism. It shows great the genesis and development of marriage, partnership and what capitalism did to it. So many things absolutely still are valid and apply. The things I see here I of course a consequence of capitalism:
The bourgeoisie has torn away from the family its sentimental veil […]
But still wtf is this development at all. I never heard something about height, jawlines, whatever when my peers were dating or had a boyfriend, girlfriend. What happend?
Tap for spoiler
Such apps are a data privacy nightmare. 100% they are collecting data and selling it.
Being here and on the bad site, I feel like a weirdo for thinking dating apps are fine. Every long term partner I’ve had I’ve met through friends or at parties or whatever, but the experiences I’ve had with online dating have been mostly positive. If nothing else I got to meet and spend time with the sort of people who I otherwise wouldn’t meet through my social circle.
This is good to hear. But didn’t it felt like looking for a new car? Or a new dog, where characteristics and attributes are written in text with a photo and you think “looks good”?
No, not really. Looks are foundational to romantic relationships that start IRL, except for ace people I guess. I get where you’re going when you say that dating apps organize potential partners in almost a catalogue-like way, but that never bothered me. The point is to present you with people who are for sure also looking for a relationship and for sure attracted to you enough to have a conversation. It’s not that different from stuff like speed dating or singles mixers.