A few weeks ago, I was taking an evening constitutional when, out of nowhere, a wayward bat flew into my face. Fortunately, no biting occurred by either party, and after we collected ourselves and exchanged information, we parted ways with no ill will between us. Being the cautious type, I chose to seek medical council. Bats are frequent carriers of rabies, and I quite enjoy being alive. Little did I realize that I was about to encounter the true blood sucker: not the bat, but the American Healthcare System.
I arrived at the hospital and was advised to receive the rabies vaccine. I obliged, being the #trustscience resistance lib that I am. After all, I opted for the better employer-provided insurance plan available to me. How bad could it be? I received three shots: in the arm, the leg, and the butt. However, there was a secret fourth shot: one directly in the wallet.
After three more shots spread out across as many visits, I got the bill. I could feel the joker makeup materializing on my skin as I read the amount: almost $40,000 before insurance, of which I owed almost $6,000.
Reader, if the hope of this treatment was to prevent me from frothing at the mouth, all efforts were unsuccessful. I was shocked. Surely, this must be a mistake. I reviewed the bill with someone familiar with the putrid, demonic world of medical billing. No mistake was to be found. They actually called the insurance company to negotiate on my behalf. No dice.
Despite spending over $100 on insurance each month, I’ve been saddled with an exorbitant debt that will take months to pay off. For no reason other than to add to my mental anguish, I looked up the CEO of my insurance company. Rather than finding the old west style wanted posters of this clear outlaw I expected to encounter, I found only LinkedIn posts lauding her #girlboss nature, effusive accolades and awards, and a spot on Forbes’ most powerful women list. This for an individual whose livelihood is based on withholding potentially lifesaving healthcare from those who need it for exorbitant costs.
An economy, on paper, should be built on the production and sales of goods. Unfortunately, we live in hell, where instead of an economy, individuals are arbitrarily saddled with debt to be paid off in installments.
It’s too late for me. I exist now not as a human, but as a half-alive creature writhing in the churning maw of the healthcare-based debt creation machine. But perhaps, through voting blue no matter who, asking politely, and owning enough republicans in epic debate, future generations may have some of their medical debt forgiven, granted they are a Pell grant recipient who opens up a business serving an underprivileged community for three years. Then, and only then, will this nightmare be over and we will be free to walk again with dignity and humanity intact.
There is hope.
Ok we need to do communism but leave you out of it because we need more rants like this. Seriously, real funny stuff
And on a more serious note I’m sorry about that comrade, that shit sucks so fucking much. When an employer offered me health insurance I read through it and, foreseeing a situation exactly like this, said “you want me to pay this much money and then I’m still gonna have to pay that much money at the hospital under certain circumstances? Fuck that”
Thank you, I humbly accept the title of jester of communism, just as Trotsky did before me.
And thanks. This has been a genuinely upsetting experience, as it occurred during a time when I was really beginning to get ahead on my finances. I’ve been vacillating between thinking, “there’s nothing you can do about it, so you just need to accept it” and “accepting it is exactly what they want you to do so they get away with this theft. You need to do something about this injustice. Act!” But unfortunately, there’s no action to be taken. Much like someone being robbed at gunpoint, my choices were cough up the dough or risk potentially dying. In a way, I guess this kind of proves that capitalism is indeed the most efficient economic system - how much more streamlined does it get than just directly robbing people like this?