ive been through a lot in life, but by most metrics ive made it out and have a relatively good life. but for some reason, its like this cloud always seems to follow me… and now it really feels like its engulfing me. i feel like im becoming so detached from reality. my friends don’t care enough / dont wan’t to listen when i need someone to talk to (and i can hardly blame them, who would want to hear the ramblings of some depressed person). i just feel so horrible all the time, thinking about how meaningless this existence can be, feeling like i shouldn’t even bother going on, and i hate these thoughts so much. sorry for how unstructured this is or how unorganised my thoughts are, i just can’t bear to hold it in any longer, i feel like im going to snap if i keep bottling it up.
I’m sorry for what you are going through. I’ve got no real idea of what you are experiencing, but I’ve had many years of my life in which I felt similar to how you described. This random Internet person is pulling for you.
i’m so sorry you have felt this way before. it really feels like im going insane sometimes. this morning i took a 1 hour ride up to the mountains and just stared down a canyon cliff and pondering. i just feel so trapped.