For example workplace harrasment by women towards males like touching or groping being ignored because the victim is male but if it where to happen to a woman by a male the male would be fired
For example workplace harrasment by women towards males like touching or groping being ignored because the victim is male but if it where to happen to a woman by a male the male would be fired
Had a gf way back in the day explain this to me. “When we’re venting we want emotional support. Stop trying to give us solutions.”
Dated many women in the 25-years since I was given these wise words, seen the truth of that advice over and over. Yet I still struggle to STFU. It’s so prevalent among men, I wonder if we’re not hardwired to go into problem solving mode when confronted with an issue.
I think it’s because we feel that we can find the solution to the problem, it will stop the pain that our partner is feeling at the situation.
Because it is, right? Right?!? When your car brakes makes weird noises you replace them to fix it and stop whining. Why doesn’t this work with women too? /s
I’m sorry you equated me saying we want to help our partner feel better with ‘stop whining’.
I struggle with this too. I think it’s because it feels so damned nonproductive to not try and figure out how to make things better. Matter of fact, it feels like how I approach people dumping personal problems at work…indifference I suppose. And that’s the last thing I want to show someone I care about. So it weighs me down.
I’ve taken to asking questions from different angles during the venting, and this seems to be my best strategy. Results are mixed.
I’ve accepted that I can’t be one of these “there, there” people because I don’t enjoy feeling useless. I care, what’s being said matters to me, but I can’t be myself in the situation. And that feels bad.