I personally would want people who I know and love while I am alive to forget me and move on with their lives after my death.
It’s like I would be happier in whatever is in the after life to see the people who I cared about happy with their lives, instead of getting sad whenever they remember me or worse yet, remembering me on yearly basis after I am gone.
I genuinely find it very illogical and selfish for people to want everyone to never forget them long after they are gone, especially due to the pain that come with memories.
That is why I am curious about the reason.
They feel it’s a validation that their lives mattered. If your loved ones forget you five minutes after you die, it’s like you made zero impact on them. Your life meant nothing.
I don’t think anyone expects survivors to sit around grieving and remembering them nonstop for years and years. That would be narcissistic in the extreme. But it’s not expecting too much to hope people will think fondly of you once in a while.
I lost a friend to covid. When something reminds me of him, I take a moment to appreciate his memory. Pushing it away or distracting myself to forget him would not make me happier.
This is how I feel about it personally.
I don’t specifically want my name to be remembered, but I hope I have a net positive in the world.
Its not just validation for the deceased, but also for the people they loved and cared for.