It is easy to think a tantrum is because the child wants something and either gets pissed that they don’t, or are trying to make a scene to get it.
Sometimes (often?) it is more of a stress and panic reaction. And it can be hard to tell. Even if the tipping point was not getting biscuits.
Whether your reaction is to give in and buy them something, remain very firm that they do not get biscuits today and this is not acceptable behavior, or decide to pick them up and carry them to the car, be a safe and calm presence for them.
Can I also add: to anyone witnessing a stranger’s kid having a tantrum, be gentle. It is not bad parenting or child abuse or anything like that, at least not in the vast majority of cases. If you want a loud tantrum to be stopped right there and then you basically are demanding that a person, who is not yet able to control or even understand their emotions fully due to an undeveloped brain, is being controlled. You want less Karens in the future? Let the kids, please, experience these tantrums and find a way to deal with them. And be easy on the parents. They cannot shut down their kid like a machine and if they can - they shouldn’t, it most likely would require some form of violence or control that you would not want a child to experience if you really gave it a thought. And believe me the parent is feeling like shit already, no need to look down on them.
Please remember you also were a kid once.
(Also, my love goes out to anyone named Karen, it is a beautiful name and wear it with pride, I am sorry it has become tainted. )
Yeah, not getting what they want might mess up a kid’s afternoon. Being taught that throwing tantrums can get them what they want might mess a kid up for their entire life.
A plea for anyone having this happen, be gentle.
It is easy to think a tantrum is because the child wants something and either gets pissed that they don’t, or are trying to make a scene to get it.
Sometimes (often?) it is more of a stress and panic reaction. And it can be hard to tell. Even if the tipping point was not getting biscuits.
Whether your reaction is to give in and buy them something, remain very firm that they do not get biscuits today and this is not acceptable behavior, or decide to pick them up and carry them to the car, be a safe and calm presence for them.
Can I also add: to anyone witnessing a stranger’s kid having a tantrum, be gentle. It is not bad parenting or child abuse or anything like that, at least not in the vast majority of cases. If you want a loud tantrum to be stopped right there and then you basically are demanding that a person, who is not yet able to control or even understand their emotions fully due to an undeveloped brain, is being controlled. You want less Karens in the future? Let the kids, please, experience these tantrums and find a way to deal with them. And be easy on the parents. They cannot shut down their kid like a machine and if they can - they shouldn’t, it most likely would require some form of violence or control that you would not want a child to experience if you really gave it a thought. And believe me the parent is feeling like shit already, no need to look down on them.
Please remember you also were a kid once.
(Also, my love goes out to anyone named Karen, it is a beautiful name and wear it with pride, I am sorry it has become tainted. )
Yeah, not getting what they want might mess up a kid’s afternoon. Being taught that throwing tantrums can get them what they want might mess a kid up for their entire life.