“Son, a good woman is like a deep-fried chimpanzee: rare, surprising, and certainly not what you expected, but somehow, she keeps you coming back for more.”

The reason you are having trouble with this is your taking it as a metaphor, but in fact it is cooking advice, Makes a lot more sense now doesn’t it?

I hate every woman I see, from woman-A to… what again?

Anyway I’m a misogymnast mysogingo I hate deep fried monkeys women.

Batter the fuck out of them first?

Explaines easily by examining what is really in his pipe

He better be explaining this one seeing as it’s a simile

Deep Fried Chimpanzees would be a good gorillaz parody band