- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
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cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/46751752
Prophecy, you say?
Honestly? Wynn didn’t sell Bajor out to the Cardassian Empire.
I believe Trump, Putin, Xi and Netanyahu are the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. So I do believe a prophecy is being fulfilled, although not one worth celebrating.
Mark 13:6 - Many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am he!’ and they will lead many astray.
Pornhub 6:9 - Many will come in my face, saying ‘I’m Batman!’ and they will lead Christopher Nolan astray
Aha! That’s the second coming?
Oh yeah. This is the sort of stuff that will be in the news all the time from now on. It’s pretty crazy already, but just remember what it was like during the pandemic. We were so deep in crazy town that nothing was considered surprising any more.
Indeed, a prophecy fulfilled–Maelstrom. An soon-to-be hypercane, and extinction event. It will eliminate most, if not all life on Earth, due to climate change inaction. Or, abortions. It depends on whether you’re a failed one or not.
My congratulations, America. Bask in your victory, oblivious to the true damnation you have caused. May humanity peacefully protest against the now-inevitable cataclysm you have brought upon yourselves.
Wretches.
If things are going my way, it’s God’s prophecies (as interpreted by me) fulfilled.
If things are not going my way, it’s God punishing us for not doing things my way.
Also: if a natural disaster hurts people I don’t like, they’re being punished by God. If it hurts me, God is just testing me.
So God let him lose in 2020, but then decided he wanted him to back in 2024? God is pretty undecisive for an all mighty and all knowing kinda dude.
Especially for a guy with a “Divine Plan.” Did God have to change his plan? For Donald Trump?
Of course that God had to change his plan to accommodate an higher being than himself.
Nonono see God both has total control but also loses to Satan at the same time. Doesn’t make sense? Something vague about free will!
See, god has total control, knows everything and is the ultimate good. Sounds like something that can’t be true when the world is the way it is? Well, someone very clever has found the perfect solution that explains everything: God must be extremely stupid.
The one about the end times coming? Seems fitting! Does Christianity even have any other prophecies?
I mean, the one about the Antichrist fooling Christians fits so well that I’d probably believe it’s actually happening if I believed in their bronze age fairy tales to begin with…
There’s the line about the beast that was wounded unto death and yet lived that seems vaguely apropos
13:3:
And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast.
There’s an entire website dedicated to relating each passage in the bible about the antichrist to trump. I don’t remember what the site was, but a quick google search should get the result.
I’ve seen it and it’s damn convincing, pun intended 😁
That is eerily similar. But then again, stuff like this probably also happened 2000 years ago. Just start doomprepping if people start wearing black and take up horseriding!
Just start doomprepping if people start wearing black and take up horseriding!
I have some bad news for you about several Olympic events…
How does one doom preps? Chainsaw, shotgun, green armor?
No, that’s Christmas.
It does have grifters trying to “crack a code” in the bible. This “prophecy” is based on one of those grifters’ prophecy.
So not all Doomsday prophecies were wrong! 😮
If you are looking for self-centred, gullible people who think that the status quo is to their benefit go to your local church.
True. Or the DNC headquarters.
Seeing as the Jesus of the Bible was absolutely a far-left liberal commie bastard by their standards, I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces when they’re the only ones not raptured at the end.
Name one of the ten commandments Trump hasn’t broken challenge [impossible]
I think he hasn’t killed anyone, but then again what happened with Covid…
You break that one if you get angry at someone
Arguably he’s done that one over and over in his speeches, and with the Central Park Five, and with the other people I’m sure he’s fantasized about killing over the years.
…wait how many plagues were supposed to be? I thought we were done with this after the locusts n’ shit.
These people are idiots. It’s all made up crap.
Heh.