further updates as events warrant #JoeBidenDeathWatch

EDIT: oh my god, I just realized a huge bonus combo effect! all the merchandise referring to Trump as the 47th president becomes wrong because the 47th will have been Harris

hahaha

      • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        10 days ago

        Joy: “O-M-G, right? Five presidents this year? My niece likes to say ‘The Matryoshka syndrome is whack.’ You’re right K-Girl! Right! Right!”

        Nicole: “I shouldn’t admit this but the stars say it’s going to be seven this year. I’ve been studying astrology.”

        Rachel: “And what the heck did Speaker Johnson mean exactly when he said ‘God made him president.’?”

        Lawrence with obvious annoyance: “Ladies, please - can we stick to known facts, avoid rank speculation, and in this serious time of crisis can we skip the trendy vernacular?”

        Surprise celeb guest: “I think we know what Speaker Johnson meant. I have been Born Again so I know. We are in the End Times.” And he stops talking. The rest of the panel is taken aback. They seem frozen although they are blinking a lot. Is he joking? Fancy Pants can’t be serious - can he? Dead air goes into seconds. The control room is yelling at the anchors via their ear pieces. But seconds of silence continue.

        Lawrence finally says: “Please explain.” He looks scary.

        Surprise celeb guest: “We must obey and follow our Messiah - President Donald J. Trump”

        Lawrence: “Excuse me?”

        Surprise celeb guest with the certain arrogance of a recent convert: “President Donald J. Trump is our Messiah. When the Fire and Brimstone start to—”

        Lawrence roars: “Blasphemy!” He’s breathing heavily. He quickly stands up, with obviousness he pulls out his ear piece, he walks over to the surprise celeb guest, and he smacks him hard in the face. Rachel and Joy both raise a hand so it covers their mouth in shock.

        Nicole: “Oh, my goodness gracious!”

        A few seconds later the feed goes to a graphic that reads “Technical Difficulties”.