I’m a neurodivergent, asocial person. Always have been. Though i still have had a few friends during my life. I managed to get by for a while with just the 2-3 people I talk to, but recently I’ve started to get really lonely. The way i’ve made friends in the past has been someone approaching me, not the other way around though. I don’t know how to make friends/acquaintances with other people on my own. Me growing up with the internet probably played a role in my lack of real life social skills, i’m guessing
Mutual interests are the best way! You can skip past awkward small talk and just chat about something you’re both interested in. There are loads of social hobbies that are great ways to meet people, just pick one that you’re interested in and try to find a local group for it. I’ve met some great people from board game meetups, running groups, scuba diving, protests, you name it.
It’s also incredibly easy to make friends with other expats if you’re traveling in other countries, they’re usually also lonely and directionless so they’re much more open to hanging out with randos. Staying in a hostel is pretty much a guaranteed way to meet some cool people! Locals are also more forgiving if you’re a little “eccentric” since there isn’t the same expectation of following all the unspoken social norms that some ND people can struggle with. Obviously don’t be an obnoxious tourist with no respect for local customs but like, you have some extra wiggle room in interpersonal interactions. I know travel is a very privileged thing but I highly recommend it if you’re able to.
Last year I was incredibly depressed with literally one friend and almost never left the house. I’m now a bona fide social butterfly making new friends every time I go out, you CAN make that change. It’s a matter of getting out there and putting yourself in situations where you can meet people. It does take courage and a willingness to be open and vulnerable to others, just taking that first step can be scary. However, I’ve realized that people are way less judgmental and cliquey than I previously thought. If you approach people with genuine respect and sincerity they’re not going to give a fuck about all the silly little things you’re insecure about and will usually reciprocate that same respect.