I work with a needy man, the kind of person who needs constant attention and feels threatened by silence. If I choose to read something on my phone instead of giving him attention he asks if everything’s all right. If I choose to meditate, adopting a yoga like position and closing my eyes before working he asks the same. It’s like he needs people talking to him constantly.

I am the opposite, I believe: I don’t talk about my life at work, I go there because I need a paycheck, but I’m open to learn from more knowledgeable colleagues, something he clearly is not.

What I’ve done so far: avoiding him, not looking him in the eye when he wants to talk to me, telling him that I’m working when he wants to talk to me, giving dull answers, feigning ignorance about several topics, ignoring him when I’m talking to another person and he asks what we’re talking about.

He still comes and sits next to me and tells me about his family, something I don’t care about.

I’m torn because I want to tell him to leave me alone, that I don’t care about his life, but considering the ‘offense’ this seems too much and knowing me I’d immediately regret it and feel bad about it.

Why am I like this?

  • PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works
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    17 hours ago

    Tell him you have trouble focusing on your work if you stop to talk too often. Tell him you’re trying to finish x, y, z, etc, and after doing that enough hopefully he gets the message.

    • GlenRambo@jlai.lu
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      16 hours ago

      Best to be direct. Fake responses just dog deeper paths.

      What are you working on. Oh I’ll help you. Sure I’ll be back on ten. Yeah I’m busy too buy you gotta take breaks. Hey did you catch thst movie.

      If the person is so dense they dont know there bothering somone there not the type of person to get subtle hints.

      • PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works
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        15 hours ago

        I have ADHD, so this is something I genuinely use. It usually works, but I’ve only dealt with this type of person once.

        I had to keep reinforcing it and it was never perfect, but it did get better.

        Happy cake day!