The thing is, none of that stuff bothered me much at the time because I was young (early 20’s) and naive about the long term impact that kind of thing can have on a person. It was voyeuristic thrill seeking and I got my thrills and had no regrets for a long time.
It was later in life as I matured and began to appreciate the complexity and wonder of the world, and my sense of empathy truly blossomed, that the things I saw and heard back then started to weigh on me. And that’s where my “you can’t unsee things” comment serves as a warning.
Yes, everyone is different and will be affected differently by viewing such things. But I think most people are going to suffer trauma from seeing that stuff. I don’t think being negatively affected by it makes someone better, worse, more or less empathetic, etc, than someone who is ‘immune’ to it. People have different strengths. The problem is, it’s hard to tell which way your brain is going to go with that info ahead of time, and your reaction to those memories can change greatly with the passage of time. That’s why I say it’s not worth it. This late in life I don’t need the images of mangled motorcyclists, violent suicides, videos showing scattered burning remains of airshow accident victims, or the untold horrors of wars I never fought in, all seared into my brain. The hilariously ironic part is that I have aphantasia, so while I can’t visualize these things, I can still REMEMBER them and be bothered by them when my mind wanders that way. And aphantasia does nothing about remembering the screams of the people who just lost loved ones in horrible ways.
That stuff didn’t ruin my life. But I’d be better off not having sought it out or seeing so much of it. People should think hard before they decide to put that stuff in their head. It’s hard to get out, sometimes impossible.
That’s completely fair! I’m almost 40 though and I guess I’m just… I didn’t have the same experience. Maybe later on in life? But I don’t think so. I’m not immune to it (or anything), I’m a lot more careful in lite after seeing so many ways to die. But when I think of the things I’ve seen, I’m not bothered.
The thing is, none of that stuff bothered me much at the time because I was young (early 20’s) and naive about the long term impact that kind of thing can have on a person. It was voyeuristic thrill seeking and I got my thrills and had no regrets for a long time.
It was later in life as I matured and began to appreciate the complexity and wonder of the world, and my sense of empathy truly blossomed, that the things I saw and heard back then started to weigh on me. And that’s where my “you can’t unsee things” comment serves as a warning.
Yes, everyone is different and will be affected differently by viewing such things. But I think most people are going to suffer trauma from seeing that stuff. I don’t think being negatively affected by it makes someone better, worse, more or less empathetic, etc, than someone who is ‘immune’ to it. People have different strengths. The problem is, it’s hard to tell which way your brain is going to go with that info ahead of time, and your reaction to those memories can change greatly with the passage of time. That’s why I say it’s not worth it. This late in life I don’t need the images of mangled motorcyclists, violent suicides, videos showing scattered burning remains of airshow accident victims, or the untold horrors of wars I never fought in, all seared into my brain. The hilariously ironic part is that I have aphantasia, so while I can’t visualize these things, I can still REMEMBER them and be bothered by them when my mind wanders that way. And aphantasia does nothing about remembering the screams of the people who just lost loved ones in horrible ways.
That stuff didn’t ruin my life. But I’d be better off not having sought it out or seeing so much of it. People should think hard before they decide to put that stuff in their head. It’s hard to get out, sometimes impossible.
That’s completely fair! I’m almost 40 though and I guess I’m just… I didn’t have the same experience. Maybe later on in life? But I don’t think so. I’m not immune to it (or anything), I’m a lot more careful in lite after seeing so many ways to die. But when I think of the things I’ve seen, I’m not bothered.