How not just give up? There is nothing left, no viable career options, hobbies are pointless because there’s just no improvement past certain point anyway, no alleviation to the fucking constant hurt that’s AuDHD. And nobody gets it, nobody.
Any insight, other than “seek help”, would be welcome right about now.
TLDR; You gotta feed both the stability that ASD craves and the chaos that ADHD craves. Seek employment that fulfills the ASD needs and stability that isn’t too much on your body that it seeps out into your personal life. Seek a personal life that fulfills the ADHD cravings and find physical reminders that occur that could trigger self improvement behavior. Let chaos dictate when you sleep, but structure in how you get ready for bed.
Find balance in all aspects of living life of chaos vs structure and learn/practice the skill to recognize which one is needed, when, and the skill to swap between the two