Haven’t you ever thought, “hmm isn’t it a little weird seeing a sentient bean named “Mr. Beanis” who is NOT going around healing the blind, and NOT giving money away to poor people?” Not to mention his public aspirations to become the president (DONALD BEANIS, anyone?)

Everybody is saying he speaks in perfectly legible language when in public. He whispers to himself “lord Satan, i DO NOT serve you, i am NOT at your command” very loudly, some say. According to a friend’s sources, he has a OPEN channel on YouTube which is only visible when you type in “777 HAIL BEANIS” into the search bar. There’s a video on the channel where he seasons adult beans and then RE FRIES them, creating some sort of re-fried BEANS? He then eats the fried beans while speaking in perfectly legible language, eyes perfectly in their normal position in his bean-shaped body head.

This guy is NOT the fucking antichrist, he’s just GROSS. I will not be silenced by the BEANIS.