No. Wanted kids, but it didn’t happen with either wife (sequential, not simultaneous). Current wife can’t any more for medical reasons. And frankly I don’t want to have a teenager while I’m in my 60s, so I think I’m done anyway.

I would like to have kids, but I do have nieces I can take whenever I want and give back whenever I’m done. Kind of the best of both worlds.

nope, not now or in the future, no.

It’s such a huge and personal decision. You shouldn’t really make a decision based on how other people describe their experience. I saw this on reddit ages ago and this is is probably the single best summary of the experience I’ve seen.

I can describe my experience, but you need to understand people’s biases. My bias is that I always liked kids. I enjoyed playing with nephews and nieces. I now work with children and have 2 of my own kids. The decision for children doesn’t come about in a vacuum. I had a wife who wanted kids too. I had a stable job and felt ready. Even then I had no idea what I was in for. Kids put major demands on your time, money, energy, patience and marriage. I have one child which some might call “a difficult child” and one who is very demanding (as expected for a “normal” child). This is definitely life on hard-mode. Children really force you to face your own issues and get over yourself. It has been great for me. I wouldn’t change a thing about my “difficult” children. Giving them a good life and catering to their needs is an undescribable satisfaction and fulfilment in itself. I’m learning more than I’m teaching them. I wish work didn’t take so much of my time and energy so I had more for them. I asked my wife if she wanted to work full-time, because I would happily stay at home or work part-time and spend more time with the kids. I can’t get enough of my kids and the time you get at each stage of their life flies by in an instant.

That’s starkly in contrast that with large proportions of Lemmy (and Reddit) which have quite vocal child-free populations with a very individualist ideology. Everyone’s circumstances and biases are different.

Edit: People also tend to be more open about defending their current position rather than expressing regret (i.e. had children and hated it, or didn’t have children and regretted it); both of these populations exist and tend to be quieter because of social stigma.

I worked in education circa 2000-2016, every age from newborn to 20-somethings, nursery, pre school, most school ages, teens, young offenders institutes.

Pretty sure I would be a good dad as I kept my cool even when i got stabbed in the arm

Wife doesn’t want kids and I’m not that bothered either way. Happy to be “Uncle” to my friends’ kids.

I’ve taken care of various small animals my whole life; the next logical thing would be a kid. Or a horse.

Horse’d be cheaper, I reckon. And I can’t afford that, so no way could I afford a kid.

I wake up to a quiet, clean house every day. Not having kids is the best.

I do not have kids. I got sterilized (had my fallopian tubes removed) in my mid 30s. I never really felt the urge to have them, and the idea of having them became more and more of an icky thought. I am a sleepy person who wakes up at noon on weekends. I’m messy and forget the laundry in the machine. I’m self centered and like to spend what I earn on me, or choose when I feel like gifting and giving to others. I’m picky, I like to find things exactly how I left them, and I don’t like sharing with people who aren’t my husband. I’m not a bad person, I just understand my behaviors and realize that I don’t really have a responsibility to change as long as I’m child free. Add to that the fact that I have so many hobbies, a close knit group of friends, and a bunch of pets - I never feel bored or lonely and I know it’ll only get better with age. Kids just never factored in.

In this economy???!

I didn’t want kids for the longest time. Then I met my husband and wanted to make a family. We were fortunate to have two lovely girls (after three unfortunate miscarriages). Actually, I think it was after the first miscarriage that my desire for a baby was truly solidified.

Life is chaotic and busy and expensive but I wouldn’t trade it for life before kids.

Only have children if you are ready to give up your own comfort and freedom to provide an environment for them that they deserve and will thrive in. I have 3 kids and knew that it was a huge commitment, but that still won’t prepare you for exactly what that means. You wake up when your child wakes up, regardless of how much sleep you’ve had or if you stayed up late to have some hard-to-find personal time with your significant other or alone. Children crave attention and deserve to have a locked-in parent so when they are awake, scrolling on social media or watching your TV show instead of interacting with your kid playing on the floor is a disservice to them. Some of your closest friends before children are often not compatible with the vision you have for your family and it requires you to cut some people out of your life that you honestly valued before you were responsible for the development of another human. There are many sacrifices that really shocked my system to get accustomed to, but it has been worth the trouble. Just remember that they come first above your comfort and wishes because they didn’t ask to be here and your choice to bring them into this world means that your are responsible for creating an environment for them to feel safe and loved.

My wife and I have two sons, and it’s an obscene amount of work, but there’s nothing better than the simple joy of seeing them excel at something they love, or seeing their pride at a success.

You’re giving up proper sleep for a decade, and you’re forever ceding your ability to not worry about another person’s wellbeing, but on the whole it’s worth it.

The early years are punishing, there’s no way around it, but it gets easier as they get older.

Had baby fever for about 2 years before my husband got his and we initially wanted at least 2. Had our son and the fever never returned. I didn’t want to have another to appease society and end up with a child that I honestly would have regretted. I’m now happily one and done with an 8 year old. When things aren’t going well, I have to remind myself and especially my husband that he’s a child.

I have kids and love it. There is 100% more trampoline in my life because of them. Mine are both autistic and have quirky interests which we’ve leaned into (visited the fan museum, attended the international carwash convention, and have spent countless hours at home depot, etc), so that’s a little bit of a bonus. I have friends who don’t have kids and are equally as happy. You just gotta choose the right path for you.

I have kids, and for me they did improve my financial life by forcing me to go back to school and get a real job (so overall benefit positive even though they are an expensive project) and also parenting is by far the best work I’ve done in my life. They are mostly grown now and seem satisfied with their upbringing though it was rough at times. So overall yes very satisfied with my decision but - I always wanted kids, always knew I would raise some whether I could biologically have them or not, it was the only thing I really knew I did want to do.

I don’t think there is a bad answer here - if you are good either way, you will be good either way. You will have a good life regardless. If you can share that with a child I personally think it’s a good thing to do but in no way essential to a fulfilling life if it’s not something you want.