I’ll be honest (please don’t judge me):

I’m scared to protest. My brother got a bit aggressive last night and I felt so scared, I can’t imagine seeing the streets full of fascist pigs (cops), my fight or flight response will probably make me freeze or run away. If I ever protest I’ll be the first ones to get arrested/tortured/killed. I don’t know if I’ll ever find the courage to do it. I’m dealing with severe depression, and I don’t think I can even handle the stress.

If I joined protests, I could also face backlash from the Chinese American community, because I’m sure some are gonna be like “why are you trying to paint a target on our backs” (especially the first generation immigrants), because that’d be my mother’s reaction. Remember than Chinese American support for the democratic candidate is not as high as Black Americans’ 90+%, I think its more like 50% to 60%. Some don’t even vote. I would feel like the “odd one out” which would further discourage me in protesting.

But, I think there might be one scenario that I would feel empowered to take a stand. If trump declared Chinese Americans (or just Asian Americans broadly) as enemies of the state, I think my parent’s would probably be supportative of me joining the protests. I think the peer support from my fellow Chinese Americans and solidarity, would make me feel like I’m not just alone in this. I would feel safer since I’m part of a bigger group, I would feel like my part in the protest would feel more meaningful, because protesting alone feels like my efforts are in vain. On top of that, it’d also be a lot harder to identify me. Imagine being the only [insert racial group here] person to attend a protest, they’d find you and jail you so quick. Imagine like 1/5th of Chinese Americans protested. Good luck identifying 1 Million people. (Also better if other Asian Americans of similar skin tones attended, that’d make surveillance much more difficult)